amish porn!!
i mean, sorta. the amishness of this porn is not as ramped-up as i would have liked…
i think the author missed a few opportunities here, just in terms of the giggles we could have gotten over amish clothing-fasteners. no zippers! too proud!! no buttons! too showy!! spend a little time on the undress, give me some hot hook-and-eye action.
mmmmm yeah, like that…
because once the bonnet and breeches come off, there isn’t a whole lot that is amish about it, sadly. in the nude, we are all amish. right? i mean, there is a little amishness, in the character names, and in the shame of the intercourse, but that’s true any time you fornicate with your brother. GROSS!! don’t worry,o squeamish masses, it is just her adopted brother. PHEW!! yeah, in reality, he is just her cousin. GROSS!!
you see the roller-coaster of emotions this book will take you on?
it’s just a short little story of a girl (18) who watches her (adopted)brother(cousin) masturbate in the barn, as one does, and learns how to masturbate herself until things take their natural course, and she is discovered (oh noes) and then there is wide-eyed earth-shattering intercourse.
it’s almost sweet.
but no jokes about “rump”springa?? shame on you…so many amish puns, all wasted…
but that’s okay, because i found plenty to giggle at!
Still, I didn’t stop watching. I couldn’t. I felt compelled, even though i knew it was a sin, I knew the devil was in me, and I had to rub him out. I tried.
i mean, i know you’re amish and all, but you’ve already broken that vessel, so here’s what you do… you get yourself a tape-recorder and record yourself for a whole day…you’d be surprised at the amount of poorly chosen words…& etc.
“Something that feels so good can’t be a sin,” I insisted, half sitting now, back on my elbows. “It can’t possibly. I just…I understand now. Why you keep doing it, how the whole world opens up for a moment and you feel like you’re dying, or flying. I felt like I could touch God himself.”
this has to be blasphemy, right?? are you trying to hit all your deadly sins in one day? the amish certainly are a hardworking lot!
did you know there were so many amish porn jokeses on the internet?? there are. but do keep your safe search on, because there is also a lot of actual porn with people half-wearing amish clothing, and it is just too too sexy. beards and bonnets. phoar.
thank you, sweet e-book publishing industry. you supply me with so much.
