Sh*t My Kids Ruined: An A-Z Celebration of Kid-Destruction by Julie Haas Brophy
My rating: 5/5 cats
this is the people-version of dog shaming!
birth control for everyone!!!!
this is my new favorite book. science has proven that children are just tiny demons who have transgressed in the underworld and have been sent to earth for punishment. and they respond to this by being engines of destruction while they are here. i mean – sheesh – dumping glitter in the washing machine, pepper in the fishbowl, drawing penises on the – wait, okay, some of these things i have done, so that makes them funny, but a lot of it is just so wrong!! this caption (you do not want to see the photo) gives me chills all over:
My two-week-old blew out of his diaper while I was nursing him, covering me and him in orange sticky poop. I was cleaning up both with wipes when he peed all over his face and the bed. I picked him up, thinking he was surely done, but no, he proceeded to pee again all over my lap. I laid him back down to go start the bath water (wipes just weren’t gonna cut it) and he barfed all over the bed.
i mean – come on! if you bought an appliance that malfunctioned so badly, you would send it back, right? but it’s not all the demon’s fault – what is wrong with these parents?? you see your child putting your ipod in the toilet and you run for the camera? this is the wrong move. this says to your children “i value you more than my possessions” and “i reward your misbehavior by inflating your vanity.” these are the package directions for how to make a lindsay lohan. and i hope you are happy…
i love this book -it is both funny and instructive. but stay outta my womb, babies!