the book has the distinction of being the most poorly-written bit of monsterotica i have ever read. and considering the … laxities of the genre, that’s quite impressive. as always with my monstersex reviews, i’m gonna give it all away, like a heroine in a monsterporn, so if you want to be surprised by the twists and turns this story takes, stop reading here.
sammy already reviewed this one, and she does a really good job pointing out some of the failings of this particular tale. i am going to try not to echo what she’s already covered, but some of it bears repeating.
monsterotica does not undergo a rigorous editorial process even in the best cases. and that’s fine. i can read past the misplaced apostrophes, the misuse of taught/taut and vice/vise (also misused in this one), but there’s a limit. this one suffers from all of the above as well as ceaseless repetition, alluding to things not covered in the story as though the reader is familiar with them, and just really shoddy writing. and it’s infuriating.
exaggerating? not hardly. i know reviewers of Fifty Shades of Grey have counted the number of times that girl bites her lip or invokes her inner goddess, but here? the word “beast” is used 34 times. “rock hard cock” is used 6 times. “ribbed cock” is used 4 times. which i guess isn’t that many, but considering this is a NINE page story, it’s worth noting.
there are several times where a word is used incorrectly
I lost conscious.
My heart started to pounder faster and faster, and I started to scream louder and louder while gritting my teeth.
My pussy was being driven to its very limits, panting fervently in pleasure with each thrust.
it’s just sloppy, and even a casual glance over the story by the author should have caught things like
And so I got on his knees and prepared to give my alien beast my mouth.
When he entered inside, I let out the hardest scream in my life.
and the repetition is truly abysmal
Tears flowed down my eyes, and I closed my eyes as hard as I could, trying not to look.
The lens gaze moved down towards my exposed pussy, carefully examining my aroused, wet pussy.
and dear god, this
His seed drove me wild, as his seed rushed to fill my swollen pussy.
it’s almost insulting to have to read prose like this.
but i promised you a detailed plot summary, so here we go. our unnamed heroine is in china. why?? because this:
This was the perfect vacation I needed to get away from everything. I was dreading what my life had become. My husband divorced me, and caused me serious emotional damage. All of my friends became distant with their lives, and I was getting tired of the monotony of living in the Midwest. There was no better way but to run away to a new country. So I signed up for the Peace Corps and got located in China. Living there, I felt like I was living with aliens every day.
let’s gloss over the “chinese people are like aliens” part, the shifting verb tenses and the generally clunky prose to focus on the fact that she equates the peace corps with a vacation. this is very indicative of her personality and might be the most problematic thing in the story, for me.
i mean, until this:
I took in a deep breath, taking in all the clean air my tiny lungs could fill.
ugh. a thesaurus and a dictionary would be incredibly useful in fixing that sentence. or an understanding of how lungs work.
so, she has been climbing “for 7 hours” and gets to the top just in time for the sunrise. sammy did an excellent job ranting about this particular detail. but ALSO – she is supposed to be in some remote village off in the countryside, and yet she is remarking on the clean air and the fact that the sky is “normally covered in smog.” which i believe is true of densely populated, industrialized areas, but much less of a problem off in the hinterlands.
more messy sentences, right in a row:
1) I tried to shift my gaze away, but at the corner of my eye I could notice the light growing larger.
2) It wasn’t until it was too late that I noticed it was getting closer to me.
3) My body was too tired to resist, the light was becoming too bright for me as I closed my eyes trying to resist.
to catch you up – she sees a light, gets tired, loses “conscious,” and then
When I came into being again, my vision had doubled, but the sore in my legs had mysterious vanished.
i assume she means “soreness” from climbing, but she had never mentioned this “sore” until now, when it is no longer relevant. and don’t get me started on “came into being again.” or how adverbs enjoy a good “-ly.”
sooooo she wakes up naked and strapped down on a table, with lights shining on her, surrounded by machines and holograms. she figures out she has been abducted and is on an alien spaceship. and complains in her head.
All I could think was why me? Surely in a country with the largest population in the world, they could’ve picked someone who wasn’t a foreigner trying to enjoy her vacation. Maybe if I could just do what my father told me and blink my eyes twice, I’d surely wake up.
this is the first (and last) mention of a father, and nowhere had she mentioned this eye-blinking ritual. but it is the second time she talks about enjoying her vacation when she is supposed to be helping people, even though she does not speak the language and sees them as aliens. short aliens.
and an extraterrestrial is not going to acknowledge that you are a foreigner. to them, we’re all foreigners, you goose.
a machine begins to explore her.
The arms were grazing over my body, its cold touch that made me want to squeal against the warm temperature of the room.
words in sentences are friends – they always want to agree. “arms” is not agreeing with “its.” that sentence is fighting. also, in keeping with the rest of the writing – this is the first time the room’s temperature is mentioned.
The arms continued to explore me, slowly moving towards my sex, trying to brush against the opening. Another arm, made light pinches against my nipples. I could feel my nipples turning hard, and I slowly opened my eyes to take a peek. Graphs, numbers, and strange characters could be seen on the holograms, a lens making eye contact with me. None of the arms had anything malicious like a needle filled with an unknown substance, or any knives. Relieved, I began to relax myself or at least tried to. To my surprise, the arm covering my mouth retracted itself. Did these aliens who are operating the machine have any feelings?
commas where no comma should be, missing commas where a comma is needed, unnecessary words like “myself” and “itself,” odd expectations of what constitutes danger, and bizarre logical leaps. it’s a shitshow.
and it continues
Another arm came over to massage my other nipple. The arms twisted, pinched, massaged my nipples, each motion carefully planned to arouse me to its fullest. It had been so long since I had some foreplay, ever since he left me, even if it was not what I expected.
seriously, enough with the nipples. we get it: the arm is tweaking the nipples. and etc etc on that last sentence. bad writing is excruciating. and while we’re at it, what on earth is “a roaring moan?”
I’m sure I embarrassed myself with the lens focused intently on my glowing red face. Some pervert was enjoying himself, I’m sure of it.
so much surety. so much disagreement within the sentences.
I should be terrified, and sickened but there was this strange sense of curiosity. Perhaps it was the adventurer in me that I wanted to find the answers.
i can’t anymore. my red pen is out of ink.
are you ready for the alien’s first contact??
“Greetings. I am what you humans might call an alien. I am Chojal, the captain of this ship.”
It was an alien, and he spoke perfect American English. Things were getting weird by the minute.
YEAH, THANKS – WE JUST READ THAT. and he speaks better than you do. the word is “weirder.”
and there’s not much that’s weirder than her oddly formal response to him.
“Just what do you want with me? I’m just a poor ordinary woman,” I said.
which is fair enough, because throughout the rest of the story, for a grand total of seven times, he calls her “milady.” with no explanation.
the alien does not resemble her previous conception of an alien, which she will describe. clumsily. throwing “is” and “was” willy nilly like words don’t got rules.
I got a better look at just how huge this alien is. It was nothing like I had pictured aliens to look like, with their oddly shaped head, their large black beady eyes, their green slimy skin. He had yellow eyes, gray slimy skin, with a chiseled jaw. The antennae swayed back and forth, it looked cute excluding his beastly body. He had to have stood at least 9 foot, completely naked, his muscles large and bulging.
yellow eyes, not black.
gray slimy skin, not green slimy skin.
like apples and oranges, yeah?
so, he tells her that his race has been having difficulty with infertility (it’s okay – it happens to a lot of aliens) and after searching “galaxy after galaxy” for thousands of years and abducting hundreds of humans, she is the first creature they have found compatible enough to breed with. so they’re gonna have the sex.
her thoughts on the matter?
I couldn’t imagine what it’d be like seeing him completely aroused, erect, and inside my aching pussy.
aroused AND erect, you say?? and if it’s inside you, you won’t be able to see it, honey. your pussy ain’t a glass-bottomed boat.
but she’s ready for the lovemaking.
I wasn’t sure if he was exaggerating, but it’s not like I could say no to such a strong, masculine alien.
nope, no way to say “no!”
The door slid open and I’m greeted to a well decorated luxurious bedroom.
sigh. i give up.
so she’s game, but i feel like she’s phoning it in
Oh, how I wanted to be fucked so hard. Never had I wanted to be fucked so hard in my entire life as if there’s this newly awakened euphoria within me.
never have i heard such lackluster, robotic consent.
there is poorly written intercourse, a repetition of the “roaring moan” of earlier, and more disregard for how words work
He altered his pace; going slow before fervently licking my clit to stopping. Unable to control myself, I let out a roaring moan. I was starting to become in tune with my primal instincts and within seconds, I had become a beast as well.
Filled with nothing but desire to fuck until my release. I couldn’t stand the teasing any longer, and I felt my pussy getting wetter and my clit aching relentlessly. I moved in to grab his wrist, and oh did I realize just how tiny I was compared to this inhumanly large framed alien who’s up against me. He paused for a moment before his head slowly turned up, and gave me a menacing, violent stare.
“What is the meaning of this!?” the alien beast screamed out, letting out a roar of his own.
My heart started beating faster as if I thought that wasn’t possible. I look down at the alien beast, and can see the signs of his throbbing had cock.
“I…want it…” I said softly.
dude, you were getting it…
and then he makes her beg for it, which is weird if this is for breeding purposes to assist HIS damn species. and, as with all other breeding porn i have read – a lot more oral and anal than is helpful for the desired goal.
With its incredible height, and coordination, his hand slid down to my clit thumbing it gently. I moaned, before the beast unleashed his lustful fury and began his thrusting his cock relentlessly. Everything was rushing and raging inside of me in an ecstasy beyond imagination. I only heard myself cry out, as I embraced the beast fully, just seeing how strong and rock hard his body really is.
beast beast beast
he has a fucking name, kiddo.
unless – wait – is milady her name?
food for thought.
I was licking like my life counted on it, and I used my god given women’s touch to sooth and ease the beast’s cock to filling me with his seed.
that is not what god intended. and that’s the sooth.
i will leave you with one more long, illustratively horrible passage.
The beast slowly began to draw out his cock. As he did, I could feel every intricate texture, and nuance that his cock had. The ribbed texture rubbed against the walls of my prostate and I gasped, grabbing onto the sheets as hard as i could. Finally when his dick was fully drawn out, I collapsed onto the sheets, still shaking violently. The pleasure was still relentlessly, coursing throughout my whole body. I was filled to the brim with the alien’s seed, ready to pass on as hope to the Eruzan race. I was complete. I closed my eyes. I was completely finished.
i, too, am completely finished. this review has been too much for me.
no, WAIT! one more. the last paragraph needs to be shared:
He walked out of the room and with that I closed my eyes. Just what new adventures awaited for me? Only the child growing inside me could answer that question.
what a fantastic ending. so a) she’s sure she is pregnant from this single encounter. which, granted, went on foooreeeeever. but b) why is the child the only one who will know what adventures await her?? is she not going to be present for her own adventures??? and will it know the answers while it is growing inside of her? because that sentence is confusing. unless this is her glass-bottomed vagina at work again.
okay – there’s tons more i could cover here, but life’s too short.