What I Lick Before Your Face … and Other Haikus By Dogs by Jamie Coleman
My rating: 4/5 cats
Licks
You seem to think that
The licking thing signals love
Salt is delicious
if you’ve run out of books by Francesco Marciuliano, don’t despair—this jamie coleman guy is ALSO driving the “poems by dogs and cats” bus, so clamber aboard! and while, like marciuliano’s many-book output, his is also full of adorable doggie photographs accompanying the haiku’d thoughts and feelings of these pooches, i have saved his for you to discover ‘twixt the covers, scouring the internet for my own doggie-pics to post here instead. and lemme tell you, the research process was GRUELING, but i have made this generous sacrifice for all of you.
please enjoy my favorite poems from this collection, and also some cute friggin’ dogs.
Rubs
It hurts my feelings
When you avoid stroking there
Nipples are me too
Playing
I do not believe
That your fixation with my
Playing dead is fine
The Lead
You make me bring you
This harness of oppression
In my own damn mouth
Perspective
To be fair, although
I have made rather a mess
You steal testicles
Your Things
You keep throwing it
I keep on bringing it back
Look. After. Your. Things.
Beg
What kind of a man
Will only feed their best friend
If they beg for it?
Toilet
I have a complaint
Someone keeps leaving huge poops
In my special bowl
The Outside Bell
It is very rude
That you don’t call out in joy
When people arrive
An Offering
I do not have much
But what little that I do
I place in your shoes
Crayons
Oh, kind tiny one
Who fed me the colored sticks
Now I poop rainbows
After the Puddle
We can both agree
That the only solution
Is violent shaking
that one probably deserves a few more GIFs*
AND THAT IS A BOOK ABOUT DOGS WHO WRITE POEMS.
*all of these can be found in still-form in Shake and Shake Puppies, which are also books you need.
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