monsterporn and offbeat erotica


TornTorn by Sage Whistler
0 Stars

the origin of twincest:

“go fuck yourself!!”

…don’t mind if i do.


hey twins, get a womb!!


oh, god, twincest humor; i kill me!

twins are the devil’s joke on Man, and by now, you all should know my feelings on them, so i am just briefly reminding you, so you know what a SACRIFICE i made in reading this book.

and also, erotica is boring, to me. it’s just people fucking. books about everest are awesome because i have never climbed everest. sex, i am familiar with that. m/m sex – this is something i have never done, obviously, so it makes it a scootch more interesting, but at the end of the day, it is still body parts entering other body parts. and if i walked into that room, they wouldn’t be like, “come, join in!!”, so that part of the mystique of self-insertion (careful with the word-choices, karen) into the scene is removed altogether.

i think sage whistler (certainly her real name) recognized this, and decided to take it one step further. and so: TWINCEST!!! oh, the sultry taboo!! imagine having four hands to masturbate with!! imagine the early formative 69-in-the-womb backstories!! don’t ask, don’t tell, indeed…(she also has a book entitled pets, of which i am terrified, but must at least take a look at…)

this is hard to rate, so i am not going to star-rate it. on the one hand, it is fuck-larious. on the other hand, there are some problems. for example: Six foot four inches of Emilio Trinovantes stood in the doorway with his big arms crossed over an equally big chest…his height, which was slightly shorter than the twins…the only concession to their father’s genes in their build was their height, six-one, and wide shoulders.

okay, so i am no mathematician, but i am positive six-four is taller than six-one. and arms that are equally as big as a chest would be cause for concern.

i also felt icky when one twin repeatedly called the other twin “babe.” this is just a personal thing – that word is way skeevy, so the twinniness of it is irrelevant.

and i know it is difficult to find synonyms for “come,” but this is not a sexy alternative: Joshua almost came himself. The only thing that saved him from spending was thinking how much better it would be when he came inside of Jaime.


but this book is a must-read, because i am pretty sure laughter helps you lose weight, makes you smarter, and cures the blues all at once.

it’s not much for character development, it is 83 pages and they have sex like ten times, so that doesn’t leave much room for psychological insight, but there is some external conflict in in the form of a bully and the to-tell-or-not-to-tell the taller/shorter older brother. plus a lot of male-chickens.

so, despite twins (shudder), despite miles of boning, twincest as a literary concept has to get five stars, right?? we have come a long way, baby…moll flanders just isn’t shocking enough for us, anymore…twincest 2011 woot! RBRS 4-eva!!!

read my reviews on goodreads

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