i know i said i was through with monster erotica for a while, but that was before free gargoyle porn! i was raised never to look free gargoyle porn in the mouth. it just encourages it…
so a few helpful tips about choosing your monster lover, if genital size matters to you. me, i must have different plumbing than some of these ladies, because a twelve-inch penis does not interest me. i have actually just taken a ruler and measured, and from my woo, twelve inches up lands it right in between my boobs (although i may have been slouching a bit) but still. i don’t need some penis rattling around in my lungs. rattle on the outside if you must, but let a girl breathe. but for the rest of you “more is more” girls: bigfoot is eight feet tall and has a 12-inch penis, while this gargoyle is eight feet tall and has a twenty inch penis. just so there are no surprises. and gargoyle’s a grower – at parade rest, he is only four inches.
and this isn’t even taking into account the tail that can knock at the back door while you are already entertaining guests in the parlor. just something to keep in mind; i look out for my ladies…
but here – learn about the science of gargoyles!
Gargoyle biology was a largely unexplored region of cryptozoology, thanks mainly to the creatures’ rarity and reclusiveness, but it was a known fact that gargoyles spent most of their lives in a sort of hibernation, in which their biological processes slowed to an almost imperceptible degree. This weird bio-stasis seemed to be what enabled them to live so long, with gargoyle life-spans of over seven hundred years having been documented. Left alone, they emerged from this stasis only about once every century to mate and feed, though they had been known to awaken in response to danger or other significant external events.
what kind of significant external events?? hmmm… well, not some naked chick going to town with her hands or her mouth on its stony genitals, nor her giving herself a dozen orgasms in a masturbatory frenzy. but you gotta admire persistence, i would have given up after seven and said, “pfff – looks like i don’t need a gargoyle after all…”
but the trick of it is to paint the gargoyle in female fluids… that’s how you wake it up. shortcut!
and for all you people still on the “size” thing,
With a snarl, the gargoyle seized her and pulled her warm, fleshy body against its hard stone one. It stooped down a bit as it did so, so as not to impale her on its enormous manhood (or rather, gargoylehood), and as a result its rigid member wound up nestled between her legs, the petrified cock’s coolness and hardness feeling weirdly sexy against the tender flesh of her inner thighs. Its cock was so long that when she glanced behind her she saw it extending a foot beyond her butt, making her look like she had a stone tail with a big bulbous tip.
see?? too big!! ouch!
oh, and you do not want to know what it ejaculates. for serious.
She reached back and spread her buttcheeks to give it easier access, then let out a yell as the tail penetrated her, its bumpy surface roughly stimulating the sensitive walls of her rectal canal. It snaked in deeper and deeper, sinking farther into her ass than anything ever had before and dilating her sphincter to an incredible degree. It hurt, yes. It hurt a lot. But intertwined with the hurt were strands of the most exquisite pleasure.
lord, i would need so much more than strands to make that worth my while. but that is why i am not a monsterfucker, like this lady. whose name is angela merkin.
and of course, while this is happening, her husband is off banging this insufferable vampire as a trade to allow angela access to the castle’s gargoyle. it is pretty funny, and the emo vampire nonsense that comes spouting out of her mouth makes me wonder if i was ever, in my youth, inadvertently involved with a vampire myself…
Even in the arms of another, how is it that i feel so alien, so alone? etc etc…
so – yeah. i will not be attempting sexual congress with a gargoyle any time soon, is the point of this review.