this is what happens when a placeholder review grows up into a real review.
“Let’s show this human what being tyrant lizards is all about!” One of them bellows.
another day, another tingler…
he is broken in on this very first day when he finds himself the victim of a cruel t-rex prank that results in him being given more busy work than he can realistically complete before the end of the day!! and he is frazzled, let me tell you, until the tremendous shenanigan is revealed!
“You think you’re going to have this much paperwork to file every day? No.”
“That’s a little sadistic, isn’t it?” I venture, slightly pissed off now.
“Well, we are carnivores.”
ha ha ha – those dino-saurus tricksters!
but then comes the even more hilarious prank where donny is presented with some paperwork to sign, which turns out to be a “Contract to run a T-rex gangbang train on Donny Sullivan’s gay human ass for the sum of ten million dollars even.”
oh, these jokers!! except no. this one is less “dino-prank” and more “legally binding document.” so. despite donny’s (and every other buff guy who finds himself in a tingler’s) plea But I’m not gay!, there’s not a lot of wiggle room once that ink has dried.
I let out a sigh. Guess I’m fucking these dinosaurs tonight.
so our hero is forced to cater to green, toned abs and jurassic cock and hot prehistoric jizz as he realizes too late too late – I’ve gotten in way over my head with these tyrannosaurs rex lawyers.
which is pretty much what tom cruise realized in the firm and coincidentally, the lizard gangbang is also one of the early-initiation rites in scientology.
and it’s all very sexxy, if your taste runs to reptiles: Suddenly, I’m completely lost in a mass of pounding erections and cold scaly flesh.
and donny is debased in every hole and used as a gay human sex toy by the prehistoric lawyers and ejaculates the usual tingle drinking-game phrases:
“Is that all you’ve got?” I shriek, a fire in my eyes. “Treat me like the slutty fucking gay boy that I am.”
and the more poignant
It feels as though I’m being torn apart.
the story is also replete with the vivid poetic imagery these tingles are known for
I suddenly find myself being lifted off of the table in one of the monsters tiny T-rex arms.
his cock jutting out from his body like a thick, powerful tower of sex.
and of course there’s a dinosaur DP, where they unleash their “reptilian power” all up into poor donny’s heterosexual-no-more back door but Of course, that’s only the beginning of what these ancient monsters have in store for my ripped body as My dino masters form a line behind me; the whole gang of them hard and ready to blow.
and that’s how you follow contracts to the letter of the jurassic law.
and also how you satisfy a whole conference room full of dinos.
ooooh, these tingles! keep ’em coming!