monsterporn and offbeat erotica


Cum For Bigfoot 3Cum For Bigfoot 3 by Virginia Wade
0 Stars

interesting fact. when an employee of bn borrows a nook from the store, WHATEVER THEY PUT ON IT DURING THEIR LOANER PERIOD SHOWS UP ON ALL THE DEMO NOOKS IN THE NOOK DEPARTMENT WHICH ARE ON THE SAME ACCOUNT. i did not know this. and i, of course, filled it up with teddy bear and bigfoot porn.

so, a rabbi walks into the store…

this is not the beginning of a joke, but a real-and-true story.

and so ryan is innocently showing this rabbi the nook’s features, and then up it pops, large as day, 8 feet tall, CUM FOR BIGFOOT. and ryan’s all nervous laughter and fumbling, but the rabbi is super-cool and says only “people have some interesting reading tastes…”

and bought a nook.

i do not think he is going to buy this series.

so – oops on my part, and i regret, un peu, all the lactation porn i may have inadvertently exposed to sweet little old ladies and the assorted unready.

but let’s try to review this book.

i mean, it is very similar to the previous two. it begins with the former installment’s cliffhanger, in case it wasn’t seared into your brain, never to be washed clean. this book has such a casual attitude towards human carnage. i guess when you have a woman being penetrated by three bigfoot at once, the human body becomes both more than it ought to be and less than it is. but the human girls, kidnapped into sexual slavery and loving every minute of it, just kinda wrinkle their noses at the corpses left in their wake. is this a sign that they are becoming more like animals themselves? or were they horrible people to begin with? or is this erotica, a genre that doesn’t have to necessarily concern itself with anything other that the old in-and-out?

because hygiene does not seem to be top of the list here. i can understand, while not relating, to bigfoot-sex. some girls like it rough and want to be practically torn apart and size really really matters. so fine – you put up with the “wet dog” smell for the sensation that only a bigfoot can provide. you nestle into his furry security, knowing that he will club a motherfucker to death for you.

but being fingered by a bigfoot? i think you have to draw the line somewhere, or the next chapter will be called: At the Hands of Bigfoot: Porsche’s UTI. DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT FINGER HAS BEEN? and don’t say “in your friend sally” because i meant BEFORE that.

okay – i am very unhappy. i was going to go extract some fine quotes from this to delight you all, and “the lending period for this ebook has expired.” which is untrue because i put it back on there last night! it has not been 24 hours, nook gods!!!

times like these i am closer to buying one of my very own. but then i would have to pay for these things myself, and i would quickly go broke.

i will try to get you those passages, but it won’t be until i go back to work on tuesday. will you be okay until then???

**okay – so i promised some quotes, and here they be:

“Jesus,” murmured Shelley. “Way to eat a ton of jizz.”

that might be my favorite line in any book ever, and precisely what i think one girl would say to her friend when they have been kidnapped by sasquatches and one has just been forced to provide oral upon an 8-foot monster.

after that, it’s just a lot of:

It’s been a while since I’ve seen a good ape fuckin’.


“You on me, Porsche.” He lay down and held his penis, the head dripping with wetness. “Be good girl.”

and some inconsistent behavior, because if all of these kidnappings of young women are supposed to be View Spoiler »

but it does end on a tender note:

How could you explain to someone who had never felt what it was like to mate with a sasquatch? Being held in the arms of my bigfoot was like snuggling into a warm, fuzzy blanket. All thoughts of the life I knew before dissipated, because, being with him, I felt whole.


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