monsterporn and offbeat erotica


Anything for a 'B'Anything for a ‘B’ by Francis Ashe
0 Stars

are you getting sick of reading the same introduction for every book i review in this free nook-book project?? too bad!!!

dear goodreaders:

it has come to my attention that there are over one million books being offered on nook for free. FOR FREE! ONE MILLION!

and keeping in mind the success of self-published/fanfic masterpieces like Fifty Shades of Grey, Angelfall, and Wool Omnibus, i have taken it upon myself to find the Next Big Thing amongst these titles.

therefore, i will be reading as many of these as i can, to uncover the hidden gems, and passing along my findings to you. yes, you!!

will they all be awesome?
am i going to pick most of them just because their covers or titles make me laugh?
very likely, indeed.

this is the fifth book in the project.

this might be the best title ever. all the energy and can-do attitude of youth, tempered by a smidge of realism. i mean, if you are putting out for your professor, even if you are shitty at it, i really feel like that deserves an “A,” but i appreciate that she isn’t being greedy, and that she knows she is not “A” material. that she has self-rated her performance at an 80.

jamie goode is a nineteen-year-old college student who desperately wants to hold onto her scholarship.she manages two perfect scores and one B in her other classes. but then, a devastating 62 on her sociology exam.crud!

She had to admit the Sociology test was a little harder than the others, but that was because she spent most of her study time fantasizing about Professor Hendricks, and getting him out of his baggy suits.

professor hendricks is not only a hottie, but he is very understanding, he invites her to come to his office hours, to talk about her performance and see what can be done about it.

jamie takes the initiative and puts on a shirt from tenth grade. you know, for nostalgia, and to try to recapture that sense of limitless possibility she felt when she was younger. and also to make her tits look great.

Why am I so nervous? I’ve been to professor’s offices before, plenty of times. (OH I JUST BET YOU HAVE!!) I can’t imagine this will be any different – I mean, I’m just going to beg him for a “B” in the class, squeeze my tits together and that will be that.

it’s good to have a plan.

but she wasn’t prepared for resistance – for scruples.

“Well, Jamie, I can’t just give you a higher grade. That would be unfair to the other students. However, I know you’ve had some trouble lately. Are you looking to rewrite your paper, or do some extra credit?” he asked.

“I really don’t have time for a re-write, Professor,” she said. “But I would really do just about anything to get that grade. (except, of course, WORK for it…) What kind of extra credit did you have in mind?


he does that big dramatic thing that people on television do, when they sweep all the shit from their desk onto the floor and it is supposed to be all sexxy and impulsive, but it is one of the stupidest and most purposeless dramatic/romantic gestures. along with skywriting.

so, right after he has thrown all his books on the floor and probably broken a coffee mug and who is going to clean up all those paper clips later, he declares:

Alright, Jamie, here is what you have to do. You have to be the professor today. Tell me everything you want me to do and I will do it. I have a hundred and eighty students this semester, and you are the only one I think about every single night when I play with myself. I’ve dreamed of this for a long, long time.” He said, as he started to take his shirt off, and then replaced it, remembering that she was in charge.

and she tries. but the poor duck is not professor material.

“I want you to take my ponytail out,and squeeze my tits. Put your mouth on one and squeeze the other, Prof- I mean Hendricks.” She commanded.

which, as she is still wearing her shirt, is both a little cruel – cotton mouth, blarg! and also shows why she is really only looking for a B in life.

later, after what has to be some unpleasant shirt-from-tenth-grade taste suffering on his part, she has him take off her bra, but keeps her shirt on, and again tells him to suck on those tits.

there are easier ways to have a wet t-shirt contest

and i really hope she doesn’t do this “extra credit” in her english class, because that is a class in which she could actually learn something useful:

She had always been able to come more than once at a time…

no. see, this is why she can’t get good grades on her own. if it is happening at the same time, it is the same orgasm. homework assignment: find a better way to express what you are trying to express here.

also, she still has her shirt on, by the way. her reasoning?

He is really into this. Maybe if I don’t let him see my perfect tits, he will let me fail the final on purpose and we can do this again.

wow. you know you can have sex again without the pretense, right? you don’t need to jeopardize your grades. you are going to have a hard enough time out in the world, sister.just study. and then you can have sex. they don’t need to be, like your multiple orgasms, at the same time.

and then there is intercourse for a while and then they finish and then, AGAIN WITH HER TITS:

If I can keep him from seeing my tits, I can do this at least one more time – he won’t be able to resist.

says the girl who has just allowed him access to her mouth and lady-tunnel.

honey, he can see tits anytime he wants. that is what the internet is for. what you have just given up is something a little more special, and maybe next time you can do it backwards. NO!! NOT LIKE THAT!! i mean, take off the shirt and withhold the the way it is on the cover of the book. (ahem – authors should think their covers through) no one cares about your tits. unless your tits are made of diamonds and candy. no, don’t look, they aren’t.

so, it is a ridiculous romp, but those of you reading this for the sexxy bits will probably be pleased. because there are many pages of it. the chances of this becoming the next big thing are greater than the number-four book in the project, but still pretty slim.

read my reviews on goodreads

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