but i read it to be polite. as one does with monsterotica. monsterotica is the lumpy christmas sweater of the publishing industry.
but i am actually glad that i went into this not knowing what i was in for, because when the lovemaking started happening, i was completely off-guard, and it was so much more interesting than alien-sex.
are you ready??
so, basically sidney is kidnapped by aliens after a day of having caught her boyfriend cheating on her in her own bed with a neighbor, getting suspended from work for punching an ass-smacking colleague, and driving her chevette home. and she didn’t even make it into her apartment to the chocolate cake she was so looking forward to.
worst day ever.
suddenly, she is naked in a spaceship.
do you think you know where this is going?
you do not.
after being crawled-on inside and out by some black, animated goo that took away all her contagions and naturally, her pubic hair, and also giving her a nice little orgasm, she is poked and prodded by a number of aliens. yes, more orgasms.
but whyyyy, sidney asks, whyyyyy??
We are a nomadic race who specializes in acquiring certain kinds of property. Our customers require specific types of merchandise, and we search the galaxy to meet their requirements. You will find that while in our care, you will be treated well and your every need will be met. Your health will not deteriorate, and you will not age…you, human woman…Sidney, are the property of which I speak…Our branch specializes in sexual gratification and primitive breeding practices, where a womb, sperm and egg are required to procreate. We will loan your body to our clients for their sexual needs and breeding purposes. If they succeed in the process of fertilization. they will keep you to produce more of their young…”
naturally, sidney rebels against this idea, but her protests are countered, as she has been implanted with a device that prevents her resistance, and then her good nature is appealed to:
“Each species who hire us for breeding purposes is at the point of extinction. Is it not somewhat of an honor to be the mother that will continue a race?”
let me just put this out there. science, if you are listening, i would gladly, GLADLY be an incubator for red pandas, if you can figure out a way to make it happen.
i am not the kind of girl who is going to be using it for anything else, so this womb is for rent. seriously. i’m not looking to have traditional intercourse with a red panda, but feel free to inject me with oceans of red panda material, and i will save that species like it is my job.
gosh, i hope science reads my monsterotica book reports.
but back to sidney. the aliens inform her that the various species have been educated as to what arouses a human woman, so at least she is going to get something out of this.
and so it begins.
what will the first species be??
whatever you guess will be incorrect, so i will just tell you.
dude, i am not messing with you.
flowers with glittering golden powder that is basically the plant-world version of ecstacy.
so things take their course, and sidney is loved by a flower and its “cone-like point,” caressed by petals and vines, blooms and blossoms. bulbs.
Never in a million years would I have ever guessed a plant could possibly learn my body in the first place, but this one knew what my body needed, and we’d only just met!
but how, pray tell, will the flower impregnate her??
With every fiber of my being, I wished I would have kept my eyes closed as I saw a change taking place in the gigantic bloom in front of me. Huge circular protrusions were making their way up the stalk of the plant, the size of each had to be close to a softball.”No, no, no,” I shook my head as I watched the ascent to the moving balls.
Though only moments ago I had felt such incredible pleasure, it was chased away like a dog with its tail between its legs as fear took over.
It was little relief to see the lumps become slightly smaller as they reached the “neck” of the flower, just under the head, but the frightening image of the previous size of the bulges was already burned into my brain.
it’s okay, though, bcause sidney ends up digging it despite her initial terror. or, her body does, anyway – her brain is still playing hard to get.
but the deed has been done, and the aliens return to reassure her.
Relax, Sidney. You need not be fearful. Has this species not given you more pleasure than your fragile mind could handle? You seemed to enjoy their touches and caresses on your body. In twelve hours, you will give birth to this species’ seedlings, continuing their lifecycle for hundreds of years. It is not in their interest to hurt you; in fact, they will care for your every physical need. You are protected by the contract we hold with them.
giving birth to flowers is painful and fairly disgusting.
but did you think it was over for sidney?? it is not. we are only on page 35 of a 47 page book.
this one is in five-parts, so it is much longer than typical monsterotica. and we still have one more breeding act to accomplish.
this one is also disturbing and hilarious. and sexy, if you are reading these for the sex scenes and not for the awe-ful glee of it all.
get ready for spiders!!
which is a shame for sidney, because she actually does have arachnophobia. which is probably something the aliens should have known. or maybe they are just jerks. considering the fact that they kidnapped sidney from her planet and are forcing her to breed monsters for them, i suppose we can just label them “jerks.” for starters.
so, thousands of tiny spiders immobilize sidney in their powerful webs.
oh, and he is a big boy.
who is technically only part spider, as he has a “human-like head and torso connected to the abdomen. with eight red eyes. and at the base of his abdomen, a shiny black appendage curved underneath his hairy body.
oh, and it is on.
this one is a more disturbing sex scene, because of her fear, and the spider’s hissing and the millions of tiny spiders crawling over her body. but after he injects her with an aphrodisiac, i guess it gets better for her. still disturbing, though.
things happen. she likes it.
tiny spiders bite her and it feels good.
and then – pregnant again!
but this time, she doesn’t get to experience the joy of motherhood. the aliens make her drink a liquid to expel the babies from her.
Had we waited five more minutes, the offspring would have embedded themselves within your uterus and eaten their way out of you.
so, bullet dodged.
i don’t know if this technically fulfills the aliens’ contract with the spider-people, i don’t know if these babies get to hatch or not, but the story ends about there, and i can only assume there are more adventures to be had, breeding for more disgusting, i mean sexy creatures.
for those of you who feel i gave too much away, YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT READING THESE FOR THE ARTICLES.
you are not fooling anyone.
there is plenty of material i did not talk about here, and that’s why you read these. if you do.