The Horny Games Trilogy by Jenna Powers
THESE GAMES ARE SO HORNY!
okay. so, this is the second erotic retelling of The Hunger Games i have read.
while The Hunger Gays was really faithful to the spirit of the original (except for, you know, all the anal rape) this one is really only HG in premise.
this is the premise:
When the world reached its population peak so long ago, wars broke out, cities were decimated, countries demolished and supplies became limited. Now, in what remained of North America, a new country had formed under the Government. To limit the chances of another population war, the Government broke the country into separate areas and strictly forbid any population growth. Any who opposed were quickly eliminated. As unrest began to slowly spread through the country, the Government came up with an idea, the Horny Games.
Each year, from the 27 different habitable areas in the country, five random women would be selected to participate. The women were to race through a maze, if they succeeded, their particular area was allowed to have sex for one year. The areas would rotate until all areas were covered, at which point a previous area was allowed for selection again. The Government also decided to televise the events, looking to gain wealth and power through advertisements and publicity.
okay, so let’s pause here. so no one’s allowed to have sex unless their randomly selected woman makes it through the maze? and there are 27 areas and only 5 even get a shot each year? first of all, even though that government has a capital g, and is therefore foreboooooding, there’s really no way to prevent people from having the intercourse. people can be prevented from carrying a baby to term, yes, but it is impossible to monitor intercourse. and we see this is the case, since our heroine, karen (what a whore-name, right?) claims to have had sex with like half the guys in this area for food and money. so, it is kind of a stupid law in a dystopia, because it is so easy to break, and any time people start thinking they are getting one up on capital-g government and that they have the power to make their own choices, you got a rebellion brewing, friend. okay so leaving that aside, let’s just focus on the (fake) math. i don’t do real math, but if we are saying that you only get the one-in-five possibility of breeding once every five-six years, explain to me how that leaves enough hot women (and i know it says this is “random,” but all the participants are hot. according to the book) with breeding capabilities to even participate in the games. i know five years isn’t long, but if you are in an area that keeps losing, those five years add up and all of a sudden, your area is dead.
am i overthinking my mosterporn? perhaps.
okay, so whatever – the story continues being faithful to HG in that karen’s sister linda is selected for the games, but karen (noble whore) takes her place. the horny games takes the shape of a giant labyrinth in which the five hot women are periodically accosted by genetically engineered, radiation-soaked monsters who violate them any number of ways. if they do not let their lust overcome them, they can run away after the monster is spent, and continue to the exit, f they can find it. otherwise, they will just stay there trapped forever, having monster sex until they die. did i mention that karen and linda’s mother was a former participant in the games who never made it back? did i mention this was the 69th annual horny games? did i mention that one of the other women was a tiny little Asian woman with silky black hair and relatively impressive hour-shaped body?
1) tiny little (this redundancy is repeated many times, in many ways)
2) relatively impressive (relative to what, exactly?)
3) hour-shaped (yeah)
best quote: As you know, the public loves watching their porn, their monster porn.
i can vouch for this.
so anyway, let the games begin! there is a big red satyr, pig-men, a two headed human-like creature with a large gut, tentacle creatures, green humanoid creatures, centaurs, minotaurs, and reptilian men, but karen fucks like a champion, despite all the backstabbing betrayals of other (hot) ladies.
Karen used one hand to stroke the thick shaft of the monster and the other to cup his balls. Her spit was running down her face and into her hair as she was held upside down. This definitely wasn’t her most proud moment and her face grew red knowing that the public was watching her suck this thick cock while her pussy and asshole were being fucked by the long tongues of the creature.
not her most proud moment for sure. and then – SUPERBETRAYAL! from an unexpected corner.
and then – PART TWO FIRE CATCHING
in which nothing is the same as Catching Fire, except that karen manages to circumvent the horny games by a silly loophole. which is something that happened in HG, not CF, but let’s not quibble. the result is the same – the horny games must be adjusted to make up for this situation.
best quote (tie):
Karen shrugged. “Fuck population control.”
and
“May the monster be ever in your favor.” (later someone else says “Good luck and may the monsters be in your favor.” what good is a mantra if it isn’t consistent, people?)
which makes no sense, but shhhh because FLYING PRIMATE MEN!
in this second round of the horny games, there is another aisan and another hispanic and another redhead. and karen again. karen is blonde and has big big boobs.
does karen have any advice for her fellow participants when they look to her for guidance?
“The fuck am I supposed to do?” She asked aloud, looking at Karen for help.
she does
“Please the fuck out of them, tire them, then get away.” Karen replied.
weirdest sex moment:
Karen yelped as the two Pri-men spread out their wings and began to fly, one holding to her upper body, the other, her hips. She was pulled to the air with a cock in her mouth and pussy. She was quite the sight, like a woman on a spit roast. The two monsters were taking their turns sliding in and out of her. Her drool dropped to the clean white floor below
(i’m sure she just meant “on a spit” and not “on a spit roast” but the drool goes nicely with the spit image, yes?)
also – tentacle-puppeteering-manipulated forced lesbian relations
PART THREE: MOANINGJAY
sooooo rebellion! this one is very much like Mockingjay in that there are only TWO scenes of monsterporn. but never fear -there is plenty of human-on-human blowies and cunnilingus and anilingus and intercoursing.
and what monsterotica would be compete without a shout-out to my boy ackbar?
“It’s a trap,” she said aloud.
oh, it is most certainly a trap
weirdest sentence award:
She saw that her mother’s hands were bound together but her sister was not. It was a huge contrast that she could’ve made if she were anger.
now, typos are one thing. i knew what she meant when her character “bawled” her fists, but that sentence above mystifies me.
understatement award goes to linda, while being triply penetrated by a three-penised monster:
“By the gods, there’s too much!”
this book is too much. i hate to say it, but this last chapter in the horny games trilogy is… silly. there, i said it. there is a completely unjustified scene which should be called “how to escape from peril if you are in a cartoon” that makes no sense and a whole lot of double-triple agentry and betrayals and secret agendas and it reads like a farce, not like the sophisticated monsterporn i have grown to love. but still. it was a gift, so all i can say is THANK YOU GREG STAHL!
