review

PUMPKIN: THE RACCOON WHO THOUGHT SHE WAS A DOG – LAURA YOUNG

By karen t. brissette

Posted on December 15, 2016

Pumpkin: The Raccoon Who Thought She Was a Dog by Laura Young
My rating: 5/5 cats
One Star

hi, i’m karen. have we met? no? all you need to know about me is that i miss EVERYTHING GOOD on the internet until they make a book out of it. therefore, i knew nothing of pumpkin the raccoon until i saw this book and it rekindled the need i have had for a pet raccoon that has been burning ever since i read Frosty: A Raccoon to Remember when i was very young.

i need this. real bad.

most people who have reviewed this book on here so far had already been introduced to pumpkin through the magic of the internet, and were let down by the quality of the writing and the repetition of stuff they’d already encountered on the various social media destinations that feature pumpkin. but for me, this was all new stuff. all new chubby mischievous stuff.

and, while i hesitate to judge anyone’s perfectly valid reactions, if you’re reading this for the captions, we have to have a talk. because, yeah—they’re kind of phoned-in

but why are you even reading them?? hey, buddy, eyes up here! where the fuzzy thing is!

for those of you who live in a cave, here’s the skinny on pumpkin: she is a raccoon who was orphaned during a tropical storm in the bahamas when she was only a month old, and rescued by a couple who had, six years earlier, rescued two eight-week-old abandoned and injured puppy-sisters; oreo and toffee. unable to find a home for the baby raccoon, they took her into their home, apprehensive about how the animals would react to each other, but with no other options. next time, ask ME! i have many eggs!

fortunately, not only did the animals get along, their home became like some sort of disney movie of mutualistic affection and sisterhood presided over by the cutest raccoon ever, who is very hands-on in her affection

and now they all wanna be raccoons!

in fact, i kind of want to be a raccoon

it looks so relaxing!

and full of snacks

there’s a warning at the end of this book that raccoons don’t typically make good pets, and that pumpkin was a special case because she was orphaned and blah and blah, but that just sounds like HOGGING to me! don’t be greedy with the raccoon-having!

pweez can i come live with you?? blink, blink.

but i know, i knoooooowww. raccoons are wild animals and they are very disruptive on account of their clever little hands

that are so strong

and get into everything

and their curiosity

and their ability to climb up into anything. although pumpkin seems to be a little lacking in that department

although she did manage this:

and this

on the other hand, pumpkin also managed to toilet train herself, which seems much more convenient than 99% of the traditional pet options, and she even has her own bathroom, which seems excessive, but whatever.

and she seems to be able to entertain herself

and do you see how freaking white this house is??

with two dogs and a naughty little raccoon, it seems inexplicable that they would manage to keep everything so blindingly white. i have one cat, and she manages to track food and litter and fur and ripped-up cardboard all over the place, so i suspect pumpkin has also been taught how to vacuum and mop and dust.

if you wanna read about raccoons, there are books for that. if you wanna see a raccoon cuddle with dogs and play in the sand and jump off a surfboard into a swimming pool, this is your book.

even the endpapers are adorable

but not as adorable as raccoon-feet

maggie is less impressed with pumpkin, and there was lots of eye-rolling and “you want me to do cute things with my hands? look, i’m doing cute things with my hands. don’t you dare bring a freaking raccoon into this house. don’t make me play the cancer card.”