monsterporn and offbeat erotica


Snowballin': I Fucked FrostySnowballin’: I Fucked Frosty by Auralie Vierge
0 Stars

won’t you join me on my erotic train??

because COME ON!!!!

i have read a lot of these, now, way more than i thought i would when i first discovered that lactation erotica was “a thing.” and then it became funnier and funnier for me to explore the peaks and valleys of bizarro porn. are these sexxy? i don’t know – you tell me – for i am always just looking for what will make me laugh.

and this one made me laugh.

snowman erotica!

because why not??

i mean, it is clearly something that is not uncommon, even though you don’t hear about it at church potlucks or quilting bees:

the internet wouldn’t lie; snowman porn is ON!!! and right now, sitting in my apartment sweating my ass off in the middle of some freakish heatwave in MAY!!! i could be swayed by a little snowman intercourse myself. i mean – i would certainly consider it, if the pizza guy turned out to be a snowman, is all i’m saying.

this one is full of puns (the author’s name is “orally” for the love of snow…), so my dad would approve, and it has intercourse and humor and an empowered woman taking matters into her own hands when her lame-ass boyfriend leaves her hanging to answer the call of casserole.

ladies! take back the snow! find a cold man and warm him up! ditch that well-hung but selfish man!

you know you want to. and i know you want to read this, too. if you are going to read ONE bizarre erotic tale, wouldn’t it make sense to read one about a snowman? because bigfoot porn is one thing – when you gonna run into a bigfoot??

this one might give you some pointers you can actually use! i took notes. and come winter… well, that’s a different review, for a different time…

chooo choooooooooooooooooooo

read my reviews on goodreads

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