Killer Crabs by Guy N. Smith
My rating: 5/5 cats
there are many different karens in this messed-up little head of mine. there is the karen that gives five stars cats to Wuthering Heights because it is great and everyone knows about it. there is the karen that gives five stars cats to The Sea Came in at Midnight because it is great and not everyone knows about it. there is the karen that gives five stars cats to The Marvelous Monster because it is a childhood favorite. and there is the karen that gives five stars cats to this book. they should all be treated as though they are different people, and their opinions given different weight.
this book is not for everyone.
i mean, duh.
and this will have to be self-regulated. if you see the cover or the premise for this and your first thought isn’t “i must have this,” then it is not for you. this is not for people on the fence about giant crabs. this is for the people it is for. you know who you are.
but it is exactly what i needed this week. it is hard to stay depressed when reading lines like:
He lowered his head until their lips met, lightly at first, then crushed together in fierce passion.
“Damn the crabs,” his voice was husky when they disengaged. “We’ll have to put paid to ’em once and for all, Pat, if they’re going to keep dragging me away from you like this. Still, we do owe ’em something. If it hadn’t been for them we would never have met in the first place, now would we”?
They both laughed, and then went upstairs to make love.
BEST!!
also, this:
Caroline du Brunner was at the very peak of her second stupendous orgasm of the night when the firing broke out. This time she shrieked her delight aloud, and was kicking and windmilling wildly with her legs when Frank Burke drew back with a suddenness which took her by surprise, his perfectly timed ejaculation still spurting on to her legs.
SHE IS WINDMILLING HER LEGS!!
this is the sexiest mental image ever!! it is like an exercise video from the eighties!! plus, the alarming frequency of people, during intercourse, “pushing their thighs” at each other. my legs have been doing it all wrong this whole time. c’mere and let me push you.
but it isn’t all intercourse—there are giant crabs on the loose! real crabs. monster crabs:
they are not here to play nice.
i am so grateful for michael for sending this to me, and i will read the other one soon, because it looks like it might answer some of the burning questions i have after reading this one.but, damn, there are a lot of books about crabs:
http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/…
i have my work cut out for me.
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