I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats by Francesco Marciuliano
My rating: 5/5 cats
another stupid book i feel i need to own! i saw this one at BEA, but they didn’t have any free copies because they knew i would buy it eventually – they knew! so i glumly accepted my promotional postcard, and waited for it to come out, and here we are.
i am glum no longer!! it is cats!! writing poems!! real cats!! with pictures of cats!! this calls to me like candy!! i exclaim!!
some of the cats are better at writing poems than others, to be sure, and they are written in a variety of forms, showing the true diversity of cat-poets. but what i have learned is that cats abhor punctuation, which is strange. there are no periods at the end of any of the lines, which is curious. it’s not like i don’t understand what the poems mean without punctuation, it is just an unusual oversight.
here are some of my favorites. i will include pictures of cats, but not the same cats from the book, because i don’t want to give you too many spoilers, and i managed to find a place on the internet where there were pictures of cats. i have amazing reseach abilities.
sushi
did you really think
that you could hide fish in rice?
oh, the green paste burns!
nudge
nudge
nudge nudge nudge
nudge nudge nudge nudge nudge nudge
nudge
your glass just shattered on the floor
tiny boxes
tiny boxes
play and hide
tiny boxes
squeeze inside
tiny boxes
cozy here
tiny boxes
paw in ear
tiny boxes
stuck
STUCK
STUCK!!!
tiny boxes
little help?
that top shelf
i think i can jump to that top shelf
i want to jump to that top shelf
i know i can jump to that top shelf
i am jumping to that top shelf
i missed that top shelf by a good six feet
and now everything is on the floor
and i’m left wondering
why people even bother buying china
if it breaks so easily
did you know
did you know?
did you see?
did you count?
how many times
i had to smack that moth
on your forehead
with my paw?
it was like a thousand
he’s dead now, though
definitely dead
one more smack
you’re welcome
this is my chair
this is my chair
this is my couch
this is my bed
this is my bench
this is my chaise
this is my setee
those are my footstools
those are my rugs
everyhere is my place to sleep
perhaps you should just get a hotel room
this one is just terrifying. why has there never been a lifetime movie about the sinister relationship between cats and women??
unbridled love
i knead your chest with my sharp claws
to show you my affection
i bite your arm and don’t let go
to show you adoration
i walk across your throat at night
because i want to say “hello!”
i leap from high upon your crotch
because i miss you so
i trip you when you walk down the stairs
so you know i’m always near
i sit on your face and block all your air
so my absence you need not fear
i show my love in so many ways
my devotion runneth over
so i don’t know why when i approach
you duck and run for cover
there are many more wonderful poems within!! be a sucker like me!!
and if you are a dog lover, please go here
