It Looks Like a C**k! by Ben Dunn, Jack Fogg
My rating: 5/5 cats
I AM SHOUTING!! WHY AM I SHOUTING??!! TODAY THERE IS A CONFLUENCE OF EVENTS HAPPENING SO EXCITING I CAN’T EVEN KEEP IT TOGETHER ANY LONGER! NUMBER ONE: IT IS EASTER! I AM GOING TO SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY EATING CADBURY EGGS, BOTH REGULAR AND MINI,(AND CELEBRATING OUR RISEN LORD, OF COURSE) AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO STOP ME. NUMBER TWO: THIS IS MY 500TH REVIEW! THINK OF ALL THE TIME I HAVE SPENT COMING HERE TO ENTERTAIN A FEW OF YOU AND ANNOY THE REST! THINK OF ALL THE MORE PRODUCTIVE THINGS I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING BUT I GAVE IT ALL UP FOR YOU! NUMBER THREE: THIS IS THE FINAL COURT-ORDERED CAPITAL LETTER REVIEW. AND I AM USING THEM HERE IN SUCH A WAY THAT THOSE OF YOU WHO WERE SO ADAMANT THAT I USE THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO REGRET HAVING ASKED FOR THEM. NUMBER FOUR: THIS BOOK!! THIS IS A BOOK FULL OF THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE COCKS!! (BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE STARS IN THE TITLE ARE MEANT,COYLY,TO VEIL) COCKS! AND IT MAY INDEED BE A FRIVOLOUS NOVELTY TYPE OF BOOK, BUT I AM A FRIVOLOUS NOVELTY TYPE OF GIRL, AND I CAN’T EXACTLY SEE DOING AN ALL-CAPS REVIEW OF THE KNOWN WORLD, BECAUSE THAT IS NOT A SHOUTY TYPE OF BOOK. BUT FOR THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE COCKS, I CAN SHOUT. I AM THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO, WHEN I SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE A COCK, BE IT A VEGETABLE, OR A BUILDING, OR A SERIES OF OVERLAPPING SHADOWS, I WILL ABSOLUTELY POINT TO IT, SNICKER, AND SAY “COCK,” LIKE A NOSE-PICKING, UNBRIGHT, TEENAGED BOY.SO THESE ARE MY PEOPLE. AND I APPLAUD THEM. HAPPY EASTER, Y’ALL! NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME I WILL BE TINY AGAIN!! WATCH FOR GREG’S 500TH REVIEW COMING SOON!
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