Tiny Hats on Cats: Because Every Cat Deserves to Feel Fancy by Adam Ellis
My rating: 5/5 cats
this is my november review-project, so it’s gonna resurface throughout the month as more astonishing successes or adorable failures are added to it
it’s november!
after discovering last year that dinovember was a thing and getting excited over the idea of having a creative/crafty project to be a slave to for a month; after doing a lame water-testing attempt at one last year and after an early-aborted project with maggie, i think this is what’s going to happen this year. see, this book is not only pictures of tiny hats on regular-sized cats, but it also contains instructions on making the tiny hats.
ohhhhhhh.
i pitch the idea to my model
“these cats have no dignity!” she exclaims.
“have we just met?”
but eventually she got sleepy and let the idea percolate
she took a closer look at how dapper this cover model is
and then she just fell asleep, but for cats, AND ONLY FOR CATS, sleep implies consent.
so, we’re doing this.
when i was first flipping through the book, i was impressed by how calm these cats were, and also how well the hats were staying on despite head-tilts and ear-twitches.
and obviously the only thing i could think of was
but then i found the page with the helpful hint about double-sided tape. maggie is grateful when i read directions.
i make no promises of success, and i’m going to start real small, cuz ain’t no one got time to be making tiny goggles
but i have already purchased supplies for this project and hopefully maggie won’t go all naomi campbell on me.
HAT NUMBER ONE: CROWN
i decided to start with the simplest one:
but it wasn’t a total cop-out, because i did opt to make the contrasting lining or whatever
tadaaa!
or not
it turns out that maggie’s superpower is flicking tiny hats off of her head with a single ear twitch. i hadn’t yet bought the double-sided tape, so this was just a phase-one experiment, but it quickly became clear that maggie is not into hats. there was no head shaking or yowling or anything dramatic; just me placing it between her ears and her instantly flicking it off without even blinking – the ultimate disdain-move.
but i was persistent. (or “annoying,” depending on where you’re sitting) and eventually, I BROKE HER SPIRIT!!!
and she kept it on without fussing for fifteen minutes and all without tape.
i knew she had it in her!! #pageantmom
hopefully, the quality of the pictures will improve in terms of “how excited maggie is to be taking part in this project,” but for now i’m just excited that i got her to wear it at all.
she was rewarded with fancy food and i think she’s ready for phase two.
at first, it is like it weighs a million pounds of shame
but then she becomes best model ever
and even gets a little rakish
and again all without the use of double sided tape. maggie says tape is for pussies
hat number three! maggie loves to party!
until she gets too sleepy to party any more
hat number four is coming soon, if time allows. how do those dinosaurs do it?
okay, hat number four – a lovely spring bonnet!!
i really thought i was going to need the tape for this one, but maggie is so compliant! i’m so proud of her!
okay, here is hat number five, but i’m going to take a better picture later, when she’s not so sleepy, ‘cuz i feel like this is cheating.
this is slightly less cheaty
and this is downright legit!
hat number six, y’all!
i don’t think maggie was a fan of this hat even though it has a rad pom pom. she is hanging her head in shame.
and glowering
and then pretending to be in a coma. again.
happy thanksgiving, maggie!
turkey attack!
she is really making that glower work for her!
s’up, girl??
the sleepy pilgrim
this is my least-favorite hat so far. my glue gun got away from me, so the seams aren’t perfect, and the propeller doesn’t spin or anything, so it’s all just fashion over function.
no wonder it put maggie to sleep.
arrrr maggie is a pirate!
and – yes – it is reversible.
and lined
this bootsy collins monstrosity is maggie’s least favorite, i think.
which is fair. it’s a lot of hat.
but if anyone’s gonna rock it, it’s maggie
lest anyone think maggie is not into this project – observe! she totally ambled over and flopped onto my pen and notebook which is perfect for this dapper fedora. i appreciate the model input!
this is it, guys!!! maggie has officially graduated from my dinovember project!!
and i could not be more proud!! especially because i never used tape even once!!
see you next year for something else!
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SIX HATS SEVEN CATS: the tiny hats on cats vacation edition!!!!
AND ALSO CHRISTMAS!
i was at my dad’s house all last week, helping him pack up to move and i figured if i’m gonna be doing all sorts of manual labor, i deserve some fun. and what could be more fun than chasing his seven cats all around the house and putting tiny hats on them?? this is rhode island, after all, the land of tiny things.
it took some persistence, and i was definitely regretting not having brought my (still unused) double-sided tape with me. these cats don’t know me as well as my dear maggie does, and they’ve probably never had anyone try to put tiny hats on them before, so their caution was totally understandable. here are the best of the pictures, but there are hundreds of outtakes, so if anyone ever wants to make a book called “cats sniffing apprehensively at tiny hats” or “tiny hats falling off of the heads of cats,” drop me a line, cuz i’ve got plenty of material.
please excuse the mess and packing kerfuffle. or don’t, whatever, it’s not my house!
NOTE: i know i said there were seven cats, but i beneficently granted rusty a medical exemption, since he’d just had surgery and had stitches all over his ear.
but we can pretend!!
and here are the uninjured cats, in their varying degrees of cooperation
harry
harry is the christy turlington of cat models; he’s pretty, he’s sweet, and he doesn’t hiss or scratch. he’s also the prettiest of all my dad’s cats, so he’s probably eager to show off his good looks to the world.
annie
annie is so lovely – very nearly as pretty as harry, and she looked good in every single hat. unfortunately, she was late to the game of compliance, so we only had one successful photo session late in the week. and i thought it went great! but, while the pictures were crisp and sharp on my camera, they got darker once i slapped them onto photobucket, and many of them are too dark to post. it’s a shame, because she’s got a great face for hats.
you will note she is also lying on the book i was reading because – cat
nicky
nicky is a lovely, lazy beast. she was on board with the project right from the beginning, probably because in order to resist, she would have had to move, and who’s got the energy for that? the only problem with her is that she’s a vocal cat, even when she’s not wearing hats, and sometimes her good-natured yowls would cause the hats to fall off and roll away.
lucy
considering lucy used to hiss and swat at me if i even passed her in the hall, i think this is a pretty positive development in our relationship. i didn’t get too many opportunities to plop hats on her, cuz she’s a “find a hidey hole to take a nap in” kind of cat, so i didn’t see her too much, but we still had a moment of sartorial triumph.
simba
simba is another handsome male model, whose coloring works with many different hats. he was all business, and didn’t throw any diva tantrums or make unreasonable requests.
grace
simba’s sister grace was the only one i was never really successful with. her ears are very close together, so it’s hard to get any hat to sit nicely and comfortably, and she’s also pretty frisky and curious, so she was always like WHAT’S THAT ON MY HEAD?? IMMA LOOK AND SEE!!! and the twitching would topple the hat off, so it was pretty challenging. there are lots of pictures of grace investigating the hats once she knocked them on the floor, and i got a bunch to ride her back like she was a pony, but overall, she was like some coked-up young thing you don’t ask back to your photo shoot.
as a bonus, here is cooper the dog in a tiny hat! he looked pretty dashing in it, but when it inevitably fell off, he tried to eat it. since eating – whether it be of the garments or of food in general – is a modeling no-no, i think cooper is prolly gonna need to keep his day job. which is being adorable.
and that is the vacation edition of tiny hats on cats!!
here is christmas!! for miriam!
which is just an extended version of my christmas status update but it’s not like internet is ever going to have TOO MANY CATS!
so meowy christmas to you all!
and now sleep
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