The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack by Douglas Hackle
My rating: 4/5 cats
instead of a review, i drawed some pictures
i considered reviewing this in a traditional way, but – let’s be real: if you were the kind of person who would read this book, the title alone would have called to you and you wouldn’t need my babbles. and if you were the kind of person who would NEVER read a book like this, 1) i feel sad for you and 2) nothing i could write would convince you, even if i were to quote some of its best lines like, “My thirst for trouser gravy is insatiable.”
so instead, here are just some book-related doodles, more or less accurate.
these are our heroes. they are all afflicted with unfortunate conditions. although shrunken polar bear head disease wouldn’t be the worst.
there are many other characters, but i don’t know how to draw that thing “how if you multiply nine by two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, or nine, you’ll always get nine when you add the two numbers together that make up the two-digit product.” or “the nine-thing” for short.
this is yo mama after robbing the sperm bank.
i forgot the “two-fingered mechanical claws” in her wooden peg-arms because i am a dummy.
there’s also cuban ghost babies, tonecore concerts, snuff films, ejaculations, and dave pirner. because, yeah, i know his name.
you know if you’re awesome enough for this book.
