Cat Shaming by Pedro Andrade
My rating: 3/5 cats
unfortunately, Cat Shaming does not live up to the bigtime laffs of its predecessor, Dog Shaming. and it’s partly down to concept and partly down to content.
on the concept side, this was destined to be a failure simply due to the nature of the beast. show me a cat who feels shame and i will unzip it to reveal that it’s really a dog in a cat costume. cats aren’t pack animals, they have no biological imperative to consider the needs of others in their social group; they do exactly what they want and never look back
does this look like a creature with any relationship to ‘shame?’
at least the dogs pretended to be ashamed.
this little buddy comes the closest, but i’m pretty sure he’s just being sarcastic.
as for the content side of things – it’s a little slapdash. many of the photos are blurry, off-center, poorly lit; one of the signs is even misspelled. in some, you can barely see the cat
we want catface!!! give us the catface!
and many of the signs and photos are pixilated which makes the whole thing seem cheap.
for the most part, it’s all variations on the same few themes:
‘i threw up here’
‘i pooped here’
‘i scratched/chewed this’
‘i am fat’
it’s just less…fun overall, which is unfathomable, since cats > dogs.
having said that, there are some standouts:
i kind of want to own this cat, to see this show every single night. i have so many stuffed animals to drown!
hahaahaha sorry, that’s awful, but what a dick. that’s what grandma gets for having that yappy little sweater-dog.
see what i mean? that’s just straight-up dickish behavior. ‘oh, were you gonna eat that? my bad. shhhh, grooming now.’
absolutely no reason for a cat to step into a pie except to be malicious. they might not be familiar with ‘shame,’ but they are well-versed in ‘ruining it for everyone.’
that’s no idle threat. she’ll do it a million times and laugh each time the human throws up their hands in horror but nonetheless gets down on their knees to extract poopy ribbon. while the cat calmly plots further acts of sabotage and displays of dominance.
lesson here – don’t yell at your cat. they do not like it.
the recurrence of this situation implied by the verb tenses is what kills me. don’t throw out those signs!
this is how my dad has acquired many of his cats.
there are some situations that are very familiar to me, again with zero shame ever:
and in the ‘can you blame them?’ category:
it’s cheese!
it’s a unicorn!!
it’s beer!!
it’s cheese again!
tomorrow i will shame maggie and document it here.
or i would have, except it’s the first night since i can remember that she didn’t do the thing she does every single night now. almost like she knew….
okay, so after that one night off, she returned to her terrible antics. every night, before bed, i have to go through a series of rituals – move the cardboard bed she scratches, move the bags she scratches, make sure sean’s notebook is tucked away, etc etc. but her new new thing is at 4 am every morning, she jumps on my computer desk and types utter gibberish into my notepad doc and puts her butt on the capslock so in the morning when i am trying to log in, it messes with my case-sensitive password and every morning i forget this and and infuriated that i can’t log in until i remember. and that’s fine, but there’s also this:
every morning she gets her little claws into this one specific drawer and yanks it out so all the thumbtacks go clattering all over the desk. she doesn’t try to get into the drawers with less weapony contents, like the paper clips or the rubber bands – just the one with the thumbtacks because she wants them to go onto the floor to wound me. because she is wicked mean.
