Cats in Hats: A Peaceful Artist Coloring Book by Diana Hansen-Young
My rating: 1/5 cats
this is my february project, so it’s gonna pop up every now and then throughout the month, but i will be adding a new picture to the review every day whether i float it or not.
i chose this book as my february project because i wanted to see what the fuss over adult coloring books was all about, and this one tied in nicely to a previous project of mine. however, i ordered it into the store without knowing anything about it beyond the title and greg oh-so-kindly bought it for me when it came in and delivered it to my house before i’d even so much as flipped through it. i’m not sure i would have committed to buying this one if i’d had the chance to actually look at the pictures i was going to be coloring all month long. the illustrations are wicked juvenile, and the book lacks the intricacies and detailed elegance of others i’ve seen. it doesn’t seem like an adult coloring book at all, and i don’t think it’s going to be as fun for me as the books youse guys are all enjoying.
but we’ll see what happens and maybe it’s good to start with something like this that’s a little more basic before realizing how bad i am at it!
feb 2:
yeah, i am not crazy into these pictures. everyone else has got fancy mandalas and shit going on and i have these babyish cross-eyed cats.
feb 3:
but they are indeed wearing hats, so at least they’re fancy. fancy babyish cross-eyed cats.
feb 4:
on day three of this project, i have concluded that coloring in other people’s pictures is not as much fun as drawing your own, even when “drawing your own” means “following directions on how to draw sharks.” will i last the whole month with this book, even though it is the shortest month of all?
feb 5:
you guys, i don’t think this is relaxing me. in fact, it’s actually a little stressful. maybe coloring’s not meant to be done at a pace of one-a-day. or maybe i am allergic to uggo cats.
feb 6:
who says you don’t need 60 different colors?? marvel at my spectrum!
feb 7:
god, so many health violations here. and who had the bright idea to give a cat a giant knife?? arming maggie – not on my to-do list. although if i were hospitalized i wouldn’t have to color any more of these cats.
feb. 8:
conceptually, i have nothing negative to say about this one. two of my favorite things in one picture = no complaints. at least the book is trying to win me over.
feb. 9:
this island is where people abandon all their unwanted uggo cats. and then hopefully that shark from the last picture comes and eats them. and then gets indigestion.
feb 10:
i think the “mysteries of the human heart” are somewhat outside the jurisdiction of cat detectives, aren’t they?? stick to the mystery of, “why are these cats all so uggo?”
feb. 11:
shouldn’t there be some kind of a drawing test you have to pass before you’re allowed to go off and make coloring books? ‘cuz i’m coloring this in so resentful that i have to look at this grotesquerie-parade. i have chosen this project poorly.
feb. 12
is this one of hemingway’s cats? with the toes? or is this actually hemingway who is a cat and faked his human death and now uses his remaining 8 lives to write fanfic. dear old man and sea – i am shipping you two! shotguns for all!
feb. 13:
seriously, “surprise, it’s life?” that’s the worst. i don’t know if you can see all the little words and phrases and bits of feel-gooderie nonsense running along these pictures, or if i have colored too forcefully over them in my stoic but nonetheless outraged determination; but this one’s still pretty visible and it’s probably the stupidest one so far. unless your life is indeed like some sort of cross-eyed harlequin cat jack-in-the-box with balloons and toys and garbage everywhere. then i would suggest you start reviewing your life choices.
feb. 14:
feline mariachi band. shittiest valentine’s day present ever. are we at the halfway point yet?
feb. 15:
this is barely a cat. as the kids say, “i can’t even.”
feb 16:
why would a cat be running a fruit stand?? cats don’t eat carrots!! what season is this meant to be in what crazy mixed-up climate?? what is this coloring book’s agenda?
feb. 17:
DEAR GOD IS IT MARCH YET?
feb 18:
plumbing, the musical??
i hate this book. it’s not even enjoyable making fun of it anymore. i am so weary.
feb. 19:
fun with feline colonialism!!
“one day, all these cats will be yours to exploit…”
that blue one in the bushes is not having it. there will be uprisings. uggo heads on spikes for miles and miles. i would color that book with pleasure.
feb. 20:
i’m pretty sure a cat would get trampled at mardi gras by careless drunken revelers. but this cat’s kind of uggo, so no great loss. also, i think any necklace you put on a cat would just slide right off due to a lack of shoulders and slinky evasive maneuvers.
feb. 21:
why are there fortune cookies surrounding this fortune teller? these are not related concepts!! did a computer program draw this?? why not fortune 5oo companies? or bib fortuna?? or pat sajak??
feb. 22:
this cat is so gonna get trampled by broncos. which is worse than getting trampled by careless drunken mardi gras revelers.
this is tomorrow’s drawing:
kill me now, basically. it’s making me dizzy just looking at it, all cramped and scratchy like some serial killer’s diary.
feb.23:
i decided this one was too fuzzy and teensy to use colored pencils so i made the transition to markers. SCENTED markers. but i still don’t love coloring. and now i’m hungry.
feb. 26:
this book only hath 24 pages and february hath 29 days, so i allowed myself a little vacation. and now i’m back. markers are the way to go – it’s a lot quicker to color in these ugly ugly cats and i don’t have to press down as hard to get the color nice and even, so my hand is less distressed afterwards. my eyes are still as distressed as ever from having to look at these cats, but any respite is welcome… look, some cats in a hat. whe!
feb. 29:
YAYY – christmas came early! and on leap day! and my present is that i never have to color in another uggo cat ever again!
VERDICT:
coloring is not fun and y’all are delusional. or maybe this just wasn’t the best book to test the waters with and y’all are just better at making smart, research-based consumer decisions and i should make better use of my bookfriend community next time.
at any rate – february is OVER!
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february project ready to go:
BOO
and YA
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