monsterporn and offbeat erotica


Unicorn's Reluctant MateUnicorn’s Reluctant Mate by Jessica Vane
0 Stars


forget everything you thought you knew about unicorns. unicorns are not magical creatures who can only be seen by virgins. they can also be seen by men who kidnap girls for use in their bestiality sex trade. but, boy, do unicorns love virgins…they love them long time. with their freakishly long tongues, and their unicorn genitalia. but not with their horns, you sicko. this isn’t unibdsm.

here is some unicorn information “they” never wanted you to know:

When a girl is broken in by a unicorn…she becomes the hottest wench ever to lie on her back in a bed. It’s supposed to be quite a show…once a unicorn fucks a wench, she’ll beg and shout for more. If you took her away from the unicorn, she’d take on a ship of sailors and fuck them dry.

because, obviously,

this is a real turn-on.

but don’t worry, you can still hold on to your dreams. the unicorns in this story are not your usual frolicking thru the moonlight rainbow brite types. like its female-counterpart/precedent

these are actually shapeshifting unicorns. and underneath their horsehair, they are virile men who will certainly have intercourse with maidens tied to a tree, duh, but they would really prefer to, you know, have a mutually-rewarding consensual relationship.

but alas.

they can only take human form while the boy-part of the beast is fully ensconced within the girl-part of the partner. (this story did not go into homo-uniporn, so i don’t know if it works the same way with uni-sex couplings), and that is also the only time they can speak. (english, naturally) so, if you are in a relationship with a unicorn (and why wouldn’t you be, ladies??)

and you want to, say, make dinner plans, you are going to have to disrobe, and encourage your mate to excitation and then just sit there with him all up in your bits while you hash out the details.

“nahhh, we had thai last week.”
“yeah, that sounds awright. but not that place on 23rd. i had heartburn all night last time”

it just seems so tedious.

although it would be convenient to have the argument and the make-up sex operate concurrently.

i like efficiency.

so, if you want to read some uniporn, this is one.

oh, and honestly?? she is barely reluctant. let’s just be clear.

read my reviews on goodreads

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