I Could Chew on This: And Other Poems by Dogs by Francesco Marciuliano
My rating: 4/5 cats
this is the dog companion-book to I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats
which i have reviewed here
this is roughly the same kind of thing, where dogs finally get a chance to express themselves through poetry, with accompanying photos. i have reprinted a few of my favorites, with my own accompanying photos. by which i mean, i grabbed ’em from les internets.
time to enjoy!!!
DOORBELL
THAT WAS THE DOORBELL!
SOMEONE RANG THE DOORBELL!
SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR!
I CAN HEAR THEM AT THE DOOR!
I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHO’S AT THE DOOR!
OH PLEASE LET ME SEE WHO’S AT THE DOOR!
WHY ARE YOU TAKING ME
AWAY FROM THE DOOR?!
WHY AM I BEING PUT IN THIS ROOM
AWAY FROM THE DOOR?!
OH, MAGICAL, MYSTERIOUS PERSON
WHO RINGS OUR DOORBELL!
ONE DAY WE SHALL MEET!
Sympathy
I’m not expecting
Any sympathy
I’m not asking
For any pity
I’m not seeking
Any condolences
I’m not hoping
For any sorrow
But that giant roast
You were going to have for your party
Before I just ate it
Still isn’t sitting right in my belly
So maybe I am expecting
A small sense of gratitude
For saving you from this pain.
Another Bag
Love
True, unbridled love
Is looking at what I just did
On the sidewalk
And then picking it up in a bag
I can only imagine as a treasured keepsake
Wow, the collection you must have by now
Wingman
I wag my tail
I tilt my head
I give a little wink
I flash a smile
I show my belly
I give a little lick
I do it all
From sit to speak
To attract women far and near
Then you chime in
With something about “fan fiction”
And I realize we’re going to die alone
And Then Our Eyes Lock
And then our eyes lock
And then the world stops
And then I realize
Man, I’m really wrapped around your leg
Man, I’m really going to town
Man, I’m clearly not stopping
So believe me when I say
Our next twenty minutes together
Will be the most awkward of my entire life
Sit
You want me to sit?
You’d like me to sit?
You need me to sit?
You’re asking me to sit?
You’re saying louder for me to sit?
You’re yelling for me to sit?
You’re begging for me to sit?
You’re pleading for me to sit
You say the word “sit”
Like I have any clue what it means
But I love your enthusiasm
And so I jump up and down with joy
for the both of us
The Naming
GIve me something strong
Give me something powerful
Give me something noble
Give me something memorable
Give me something
To carry through all my years
With back straight and chin held high
But then you ask your three-year-old daughter
“Why don’t you name the new puppy?”
And I’m so screwed that I could cry.
Date Night
Every time I watch
Lady and the Tramp
I think
“SHE’S HAVING SOME OF YOUR PASTA!”
“QUICK! EAT IT ALL! EAT IT ALL NOW!!!”
“GROWL! BARE YOUR TEETH! DO SOMETHING!”
“OH, DON’T GIVE HER THE MEATBALL!
THERE’S MEAT IN IT!”
“IDIOT!”
But then again
I’m not the romantic type.
enjoy the book, dog lovers!!!
read my book reviews on goodreads
