reviewed without reading

COME ON, DAD!: 75 THINGS FOR FATHERS AND SONS TO DO TOGETHER – ED AVIS

Come On, Dad!: 75 Things for Fathers and Sons to Do TogetherCome On, Dad!: 75 Things for Fathers and Sons to Do Together by Ed Avis

technically, i have read this, but it belongs here in spirit.

MY FAVORITE FATHER’S DAY TRADITION!

seriously, NAMBLA, you guys gotta cover your tracks better. this isn’t even subtle. now, i know who i am – i understand i have a rather unsophisticated sense of humor, but if this book isn’t just code for old dudes who want to score with kids, then please lobster press – please please please let me work for you. you have no idea how you are coming…across. (just realizing they are canadian and are probably just sweetly unaware of what they are saying.)

my tips for you:

1) you have chosen the wrong title. yes, i know there is a comma, but if you want people to take this book seriously, you have to change it.

if not 1) then,

2) that dude on the cover?? lose him. if you are married to the title, he has got to go. uniform-sized teeth? soft hairless pinkened skin?? merry blue eyes?? perfectly symmetrical wrinkle-tracks?? these are indicators. he has got to go.

3) lose this picture entirely:

4) your table of contents? get yourself a tape recorder – i think you’ll be surprised at the number of poorly-chosen phrasings:

for example:

chapter one – bathtub navy?

chapter two: night adventure??

do you begin to see the situation more clearly??

take it apart?
breakfast in bed?
take a stand?
water fight?
treasure hunt?
gear pouch?
old man apples?
horror bowls?
what am i??
stuffed animal party?
backstage?
magic show?
cookie cook?? (that one is fine – i initially misread it)
lemonade stand? (this feels like it has to be a position in the gay mans’ kama sutra)
sock puppets
boy box?? SERIOUSLY – ARE YOU NOT READING THIS?? BOY BOX???
candle tricks?
super bubbles?
love pills?
thermometer?
rainy day games?
backyard campout?
a real meal?
plant a tree?
secret code?
story chain?
face painting?
leafy fun?

now you can say these are all perfectly innocent activities, but when you lay them all out like that, and when each and every activity has an option, in bold type, to make it harder, you cannot tell me this is all accidental. you don’t have to be someone like me with a totally childish sense of humor to see this pattern of creepiness. the “make it harder” suggestion for the “boy box” is to add a latch on the door to make it more “special.” or more like a secret sex dungeon, dude.

this book is killing me. i kind of want to call the cops on it. best father’s day present ever.

also – this review contains more gems from the book! enjoy!

two more father’s day gems can be found

here

and here

read my reviews on goodreads

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