Cat Pic Fan Fic by Jack Shepherd
My rating: 4/5 cats
WELCOME TO DECEMBER PROJECT!
boilerplate mission statement:
for the past two years, i’ve set december’s project aside to do my own version of a short story advent calendar. it’s not a true advent calendar since i choose all the stories myself, but what it lacks in the ‘element of surprise’ department it more than makes up for in hassle, as i try to cram even MORE reading into a life already overcrammed with impossible personal goals (live up to your potential! find meaningful work! learn to knit!) merry merry wheee!
since i am already well behind in my *regular* reviewing, when it comes to these stories, whatever i poop out as far as reflections or impressions are going to be superficial and perfunctory at best. please do not weep for the great big hole my absented, much-vaunted critical insights are gonna leave in these daily review-spaces (and your hearts); i’ll try to drop shiny insights elsewhere in other reviews, and here, i will at least drop links to where you can read the stories yourselves for free, which – let’s be honest – is gonna serve you better anyway.
HAPPY READING, BOOKNERDS!
links to all stories read in previous years’ calendars can be found at the end of these reviews, in case you are a person who likes to read stories for free:
2016: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show…
2017: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show…
scroll down for links to this year’s stories which i will update as we go, and if you have any suggestions, send ’em my way! the only rules are: it must be available free online (links greatly appreciated), and it must be here on gr as its own thing so i can review it. thank you in advance!
DECEMBER 3
Jenkins’ mother was an odd bird, and he had never paid much attention to her when she said (as, rather worryingly, she often did) that it was “better to be Admiral of a box than Captain of a basket.”
It was not without some bitter irony that he found himself in a position, later in life, to prove this frankly insane adage to be literally untrue.
this is… wait for it… pictures of cats that some dude from buzzfeed wrote stories about. how is this even a thing? or, now that i think about it, how is this NOT a thing? how is this not a craze sweeping the nation or a thing that i myself could get paid to do? because (and i am docking a star now – it got a knee-jerk outta the gate five stars just for the balls of being rando cat fanfic, but now i am taking a star away because [end parenthetical now]) i could do this, and i could do this funnier.
sorry to boast about my ability to write flash fiction about photos of strangers’ cats; i know it is unattractive to toot one’s own horn, but i am a great achiever of skills that don’t pay the bills… yet, so i ALSO know no one is jealous of me for this or any other of my useless attributes.
The Cage is probably the best, because it is a creeper-story about my favorite thing: the evils that birds do. interestingly enough, one of the sidebar links on this page is to an article called Let’s Talk About How Disgusting Olives Are: https://www.buzzfeed.com/katangus/oli…
so basically, le buzzfeed, c’est moi.
need to meet your reading goal before the end of the year? this’ll get you one step closer in about two and a half minutes. boom boom meow.
read it for yourself here:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/…
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