Alice Close Your EyesAlice Close Your Eyes by Averil Dean
My rating: 3/5 cats
One StarOne StarOne Star

this is the most uncomfortable i have ever been reading a book the author dedicated to their mom.

it’s a psychosexual romp with animal abuse, cutting, plenty of drugs and drinking, childhood sexual abuse, maiming, murder, and just all around unlikeable people. mommy, i did it all for youuuuu!

there’s also a lot of cigarette smoking—which is rare in romance novels these days.

it’s a very sexually graphic book about about two self-destructive and damaged people who fall into a relationship sort of like that one in fifty shades, but without all the safe words and option to say “no.” the sexy bits were not as embarrassingly written as many in other books i have read, but it is way brutal, both mentally and physically.

here’s the thing—i don’t care how you decorate your bedroom, who you invite back to it, or what you do once you’re in there, as long as everyone wants to be there and is old enough to know better—it’s none of my business. you wanna be tied up, wear outfits, bring a fruit bowl in the mix, beat the shit out of each other, go ahead, have fun. but even with this admirable open-mindedness of mine, there came a point while i was reading this where i was like, yeah, no, this is not okay. and i started getting a little apprehensive. because there’s some things you can’t come back from as a reader, some things you can’t condone. i guess i do require a little basic human decency, dignity, and respect,

but i’m glad i kept reading because it did not go the way i feared it was going, and even though it was still a very distressing read, and i don’t approve of all the decisions made by the author or the characters, it was undeniably affecting, if not something i really see myself recommending to anyone else.

but go ahead, you erotic thriller fans—this one is for y’all, just don’t expect to be all starry-eyed with love for any of the characters.

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