Fulk the Reluctant by Elaine Knighton
My rating: 2/5 cats
during my looong loong indentured servitude at the book factory, i have witnessed the discovery of many ridiculous and shudder-fun books.
connor discovered frinkles.
i discovered zombonauts and a hand in the bush
who remembers who discovered big spankable asses??
and greg. well, years ago greg found this.
and we all had a laugh over it. we naturally assumed the title was a reference to what the male lead character did, he would um…fulk reluctant ladies. (yes, we were essentially laughing at a rape joke—we are not good people). and i refused to return it, even though it wasn’t selling, and eventually it went down to a dollar (LGM), and i just bought it as a souvenir of bookstore laughter.
and when this fine bodice ripper group asked for suggestions for what to read next, i offered this one up, only half-seriously.
so guys, i am sorry. i truly am.
this is not a good book.
it is not even a successful romance novel. women read romance novels for the titillating descriptions of love and intercourse. in this book, the first act of vaginal penetration is on page 270. that is a lot of book to get through for some underwhelming sexitude.
but is it at least full of closeness and restrained passions and longing looks, like the sexy bits of twilight? nah, not really. mostly just boring but plenty of double entendre passages that may or may not be intentional.
“Gripping her lance, she put her horse into a gallop. She leveled the shaft at the proper angle over her mount’s withers and aimed for the small disc at the end of the quintain’s arm. A squeeze of her legs brought a final burst of speed from her horse as she approached impact.”
***
“She must be put to bed straightaway. She needs rest and some good red meat in her’
***
“On the morrow you will get to know my sheep. All three hundred and twelve of them”
i think those things are funny, but the overall tone of the book is not very funny, which makes me think i am seeing funny where there is not intended to be funny…
so rbrs, go and thank greg. and forget i was even involved, kay?
basically, i am on elizabeth’s side: fulk this!
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