Millard Salter’s Last Day by Jacob M. Appel
My rating: 4/5 cats
History did not necessarily belong to the winners; it belonged to the last witness off life support.
what better way to start the new year than with a lighthearted suicide novel? i don’t think there are many to choose from, so you might as well read this one!
it is dr. millard salter’s birthday, and he has a busy day planned, with no time to spare or to deviate from his to-do list, which list concludes with “hanging himself in his bathroom closet.” it’s the most pragmatic of suicide plans – although he is not yet sick, he’s seventy-five years old, and working at a hospital, losing loved ones – he knows all too well how the human body deteriorates, and this dignified choice is meant to spare himself and his family the fuss and mess and grief of experiencing or having to stand by and watch this decline.
it makes for an interesting perspective, following a character through what we know and what he knows to be their “last times” doing all of the everyday stuff we all do, giving a ceremonial luster to what is ordinarily either tedious or forgettable: hallway conversations with colleagues, paperwork, cab rides, waiting for stop lights. however, since no one else knows this is the last time they will see him, millard is able to get in a few jokes at their expense – promises made, ironic word choices, the freedom in knowing that the consequences of speaking his mind are immaterial. and while it seems dark to joke about one’s impending demise, it’s not written that way at all; appel somehow keeps it lighter than it has any right to be, and that’s a remarkable trick to have pulled off.
it also puts the reader in a potentially uncomfortable place – much of millard’s day is spent dealing with unforeseen events getting in the way of his intentions, forcing him to be more flexible with his timetable and more generous with his time and attentions on the one day that should be all about him. there’s an element of If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans, but the fact that the delays are so common: acquaintances and colleagues chipping away at his time with small talk, demands, expectations, forms – none of which have any meaning to someone with no intention of being here tomorrow – but the fact that they are such relatable obstacles causes a sympathetic reaction in a reader until you remember that these delays are mucking up his suicide plans, which is a bit emotionally conflicting. i mean, to me, anyway.
so, yeah – worth checking out, even if it’s just to see how someone achieves a “heartwarming” suicide narrative.
