Who Killed John F. Kennedy? by Justin Sewell, Michael Schaub
My rating: 5/5 cats
okay, i am pretty sure i made it through all the possibilities. i may have missed a page here or there, but one of the authors is afraid i will get murdered before i get a chance to review this because of my moderately unflattering review of The Goodreads Killer, and since he was kind enough to send me a copy of this book for review, i figure i should get ‘er done before attempting to cross any more streets.
and it’s fitting, really, because i died SO MANY TIMES while i was reading this excellent book. i got some cement shoes, i got decapitated by a polar bear, i got drowned in a clogged hotel toilet, i got shot bunches and bunches, i poisoned my fool self; we’re talking several cats worth of lives here…
and hindsight is 20/20, and fortunately in this book, unlike in life, you get the chance to go back and try to make different decisions to avoid these terrible outcomes. but guess what? YOU STILL LOSE!! EVERY SINGLE TIME!
but don’t worry, it’s not always your life you lose. there are plenty of other ways to lose in a humiliating way and still get to breathe on and on and endure the shame!
i wet the bed, i pooped myself, i got kicked in the balls, i got kicked in the balls, i got kicked in the balls, i got beat up by a high school full of misguided homophobes (well, all homophobes are misguided, perhaps the word i want is “misinformed.”), i disappointed my mother, deeply, and i spent a lifetime regretting my own cowardice and misplaced trust. whe!
however, i also got to meet dan rather and be hugged by j. edgar hoover before, ultimately, losing. again.
this book is just scads and scads of fun. it’s all the interactive good times of the old CYOA books, down to the font, with none of the expectations that anything good will ever happen to you! it’s a lot like life…
plus, there is an amusing jab at lost, and the illustrations are wonderfully nostalgic. great idea and great delivery. unlike The Goodreads Killer. yeah, i said it.
also, they have more books planned. and supposedly, on their site, there is a kickstarter campaign for the next book, but i went to there: http://thepessimist.com/, and i didn’t see it. help a sister out with a link, yeah? because i so want to be a character in one of the forthcoming books. and i wanna be awesome. for once.
if you enjoy this book, you may also enjoy playing russian roulette with a loaded gun!
there! reviewed before my demise.
wait – what’s that noise outside??
I LOSE.
