Troy DeNuthe’s World of Ice Cubes by Troy DeNuthe
My rating: 5/5 cats
ohmygod – it is a book about ice cubes.
smashwords is so full of hidden treasures – it is a dumping-ground for people who can’t get their stuff published elsewhere, but tell me what publisher would not want this incredibly well-researched and edited book about ice cubes? i mean, really – where else you gonna learn about the historical/anthropological importance of ice cubes:
When the first caveman killed the first dinosaur, he feasted on the salty flesh, and only had water from the lake to wash it down. But the lake was only room temperature, and not as refreshing as it could have been. The caveman knew that the tops of mountains contained a magical cold substance known as “ice”, and surely this ancient ancestor of ours longed for ice to add to the lake water, to make a refreshing beverage to go with the dinosaur meat. This was the state of the world, one trillion years ago, and many changes have happened since then. With the passage of time did technologies become developed which made it possible to ameliorate the hotness of man’s environment and his beverages.
alongside poetry about ice cubes:
August Cube
Ice cube floating,
In a lazy sea of apple juice.
Heavy summer moisture makes me weak.
Oh cool, cool Cube- come freeze Mr. Summer!
With your coldifying powers, I endure.
and recipes using ice cubes:
Watermelon Ice Cubes
This really works, because watermelon contains much water.
Cut watermelon (the pink part) into ice cube-sized cubes, or whatever shape you like.
Put the pieces into the freezer.
Freeze.
Now your frozen little pieces of watermelon are just like ice cubes. In fact, they are practically ice cubes, because of the high water content of watermelon. But of course these cubes are a little bit sweet, so they are good in unsweetened iced tea, to add a bit of sweet as well as coldness. Also, these are fine in pink lemonade (because also pink and sweet). There’s a dirty joke that goes with this, but Alyson won’t let me tell it.
NOTE: You’re a pig. –Alyson
and it just goes on and on. movie ideas, personal anecdotes, ice cube safety, party games involving ice, famous ice cubes in history, ice cube trays from around the world – i have never learned more about any single subject from any other book before in my life. astounding.
on the one hand – it is genius. on the other hand, it is terrifying. i never want to meet this author because he seems a little… intense about ice cubes, man. this is the kind of guy you read about, you know, after they chop up all the people and put them on…ice.
there is no chapter about that in this book, but it is almost glaring by its omission because you know this guy has chopped up a hooker or two.
but i don’t care, because his ideas about blueberry ice cubes are pretty revolutionary, and i am about to convert all my wealth into diamonds, on his advice because i have come to trust him, in my own way.
thank you, smashwords! thank you, troy denuthe!
