Penguins with People ProblemsPenguins with People Problems by Mary Laura Philpott
My rating: 4/5 cats
One StarOne StarOne StarOne Star

this book, collected from a tumblr (naturally), has the best origin story ever as far as booknerds like me are concerned. it all started with the penguin/random house merger…

Like booknerds everywhere, Mary Laura took note of the news and wondered what the merged company would be called: Book House? Penguin House? Random Penguin? Unlike other booknerds, Mary Laura started doodling little penguin characters and couldn’t stop. Thus, THE RANDOM PENGUINS were born.

and they are so, so cute. simple, but adorable.

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they remind me of these stuffed animals that are based on children’s drawings, both of which i own:

you can buy your own or make your own here.

and these penguins are just like us!

this one is like me:

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Word problem:

James has tried to push open the door marked “Pull” eleven times in one week. How many more times will he do this before he starts parking on the other side of the building and using a different entrance because this door is stupid?

and this one reminds me of jenny lawson!!

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The health insurance form had four options for the “how often do you drink?” question: daily, weekly, rarely, and never – but she always had to write in:

“Usually twice a week, but some weeks more like daily, and sometimes at brunch if it’s Saturday, but then after that none for about a week, and once none for a whole summer, but then ten in one day that time I ran over my neighbor’s cat and tried to bury it and got sick and threw up on it and then the neighbor came outside and I was barfing on his dead cat.”

and this one reminds me of me AND of jenny lawson

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Leonora had already gotten a stern look from her boss twice, but she couldn’t help it. If twirly chairs weren’t for twirling, then WHY DID GOD MAKE THEM TWIRLY?

the rest of these don’t remind me of anyone in particular, but they are my favorites from the book. feel free to self-identify.

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If there’s one thing Phoebe’s proud of, it’s her strong public speaking skills.

If there are two things Phoebe’s proud of, they’re her strong public speaking skills and the tiny extra beak on the side of her head.

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Well, that didn’t turn out at all like those bitches on Pinterest said it would.

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Serving a cocktail in a mason jar and calling it “artisanal” doesn’t make it worth $21. But it does make you notice that it’s spelled “art is anal.”

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“Choose a career that doesn’t feel like work,” they said. “Do what you love, and the money will follow,” they said.

So for twenty-three years, Kevin’s been out here blindfolded, playing the musical bubble pipe, waiting to get rich.


Still waiting.

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You may think you’re pretty smart – but Dwayne filled a pita pocket with ice cream, so he’s a genius.

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Used to be, Penny had to lick the entire tray of muffins to claim them all for herself. Nowadays, all she has to do is shout “GLUTEN!” and everyone scatters.

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The problem with these flappy little wings is they can reach only so far with the sunscreen.

which was also funny when it was a “t-rex trying” joke:

penguins! people! problems!
and just like that, i am in love.

read my book reviews on goodreads

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