Never Touch a SharkNever Touch a Shark by Rosie Greening
My rating: 3/5 cats
One StarOne StarOne Star

catching up on reviewing last year’s sharkweek reads!!

i read this to celebrate shark week 2020, but sharkfans NB: while the title promises sharks, there is only ONE page of shark content:

and i’m a bit apprehensive about this message—seems to me a shark clever enough to bake would also be clever enough to bait, and this singsongy jingle might be masking a very clever trap.

this is a overall pretty mixed-messagey sort of book—cautioning readers against touching a variety of sea beasties while inviting tactile engagement with the rubbery inserts planted right on the tummies of the creature in question. are people reading this book to toddlers meant to slap away the tiny hands of toddlers from exploring the ridges and nubbles on each page, saying “NOOOOOOOO, you must NEVER touch a shark,” or whatever? is this just teaching kids to question authority? to disobey? that ‘no’ means ‘go ahead?’

the material is the same on every page, but its color and composition is different on every creature. can you identify the aquatic pal based on this rubbery cereal/skin disease?

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in any case, apart from the giant shark, most of these animals are perfectly harmless to touch.

although maybe stay away from this hangry turt:

and this amorous hugger:

but a pufferfish?

go right ahead, whether it’s in smooth mode, wagging its tail like a pupperfish:

or all oi punk rock:

however, this advice is sound:

you must never touch a seahorse/it’s not a good idea/but if she’s in a swimming race/then you can wave and cheer

because human-touches are not safe for the delicate seahorse.

in conclusion, i am confused about the conclusion:

So, never touch a sea creature who isn’t in this rhyme. But if it’s in a buoy band, you can join in every time!

who ISN’T in this rhyme? because we just went through pages of book-bossery about how we’re not supposed to touch the featured-creatures, but following this logic, excising the negative word/negative verb:

So, never touch a sea creature who isn’t in this rhyme.

undermines the entire premise of the book, non? or can we not touch ANY undersea creature? what kind of life is that, i ask you?

although, i read this in the middle of a pandemic, where encouraging those sticky little superspreaders to touch anything was wildly irresponsible, but it’s all over now, right? we’re totally safe from—

ew. wear a mask!

read my book reviews on goodreads

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