Men Who Wish to Drown by Elizabeth Fama
My rating: 4/5 cats
“When you give your heart to the ocean, you either drown, or spend your life wishing you had drowned.”
you know me—you know i have read all kinds of stories about what happens when a man or a woman succumbs to the love of a creature not quite human. this is the story of what happens when they don’t; the missed connections version of monsterporn.
and it’s gorgeous.
it takes the form of a deathbed letter by mr. resolved harry stanton to his great-grandson thomas, in which he recounts an experience he had when he was nineteen years old, and the life-changing decision he made as a result.
it’s about fear and hesitation, a lifetime of regret on the road more frequently traveled. it’s about the knifetwist of someone else’s “pleasant indifference.”
it’s a strong and beautiful story.
and it’s no great coincidence, i think, that this mermaid story features a character very like dear overcautious j. alfred prufrock, with his:
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.
set against resolved’s
I have led a life that most men envy. I achieved health and wealth almost without effort. But as a young man the future was unknown and there were two paths before me. In my nineteenth year I tasted the nectar of truly living, and I might have leapt over the chasm of the ordinary into the ravishment of an ecstatic extraordinary, but I turned away from it.
and i think it’s worth quoting the closing lines of that poem:
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me.
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
poor prufrock. poor resolved.
And indeed there will be time
but what if there isn’t?
choose wisely.
read it for yourself here: http://www.tor.com/2012/08/29/men-who…
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