review

FEATURE DEVELOPMENT FOR SOCIAL NETWORKING – BENJAMIN ROSENBAUM

By karen t. brissette

Posted on January 5, 2016

Feature Development for Social Networking by Benjamin Rosenbaum
My rating: 3/5 cats
One Star

Marsha Shirksy Got bitten . . .

Roland Wu wtf? Are you kidding?

Buster Day that is so not funny

Emily Carter omg Marsha are you serious?

Marsha Shirksy I’m not kidding, you guys! There was a rager at the supermarket. I could tell he was acting weird & I know I was totally stupid not to just drop my stuff and run! I’d just been in line forever & they had this terrific local asparagus on sale. Yes, I may have just sacrificed myself for asparagus.

this is a zombie story in a modern-day epistolary format, composed of both emails and chat room posts chronicling the onset and spread of the zombie apocalypse.

the emails are interoffice communications from the facebook staff capitalizing on the situation and turning it into social media gold.

the chat room participants are just regular kids like you and me (well, not me—i’m not on the facebook), trying to look out for each other with internet-buddy support posts but ultimately helpless as their friends and loved ones fall victim to the pandemic.

rarrrrr

the story emphasizes the emotional flattening our social media-based relationships have conferred upon us, as the severity of the situation is glossed over by humor

Marsha Shirksy I am fine & now I have at least a week’s worth of microwave popcorn and burritos. Hopefully that will substitute for braaaaains! Emily you are such a sweetheart, I cannot believe you came all this way. I feel kind of stupid now. I totally could have gone to the store.

and the misplaced priorities and concerns of corporate ghouls.

To: “Emergent UI Features Team”
From: Tracy MacGier
Subject: Re: “Became a zombie” Life Event

Come on guys, this is a joke. You’re waiting for people to tag THEMSELVES as zombies? Seriously?
We already solved the griefer problem by limiting tagging to Close Friends, remember? I think if some dude I hardly know can photo tag me flashing my tits at Mardi Gras, I ought to be able to tag a CLOSE FRIEND as a zombie, am I right?

People, we are all about visibility in the social cloud! Who’s single, who’s in town, who likes what, who hooked up with whom! And what is the most important thing you want to know about your social circle right now? THREE GUESSES!

Come on, Suresh, grow some balls, and let’s do this right!

Tracy

To: “Emergent UI Features Team”
From: Josh Rubenstein
Subject: Wording of new feature

Can we use a different word? I’m not really all that comfortable with “zombie” from a disability rights perspective. It has really negative cultural connotations. It’s one thing if people with AER/CI want to reclaim that word, but I don’t think we should be doing it for them. How about “rager” or just “contracted AER/CI”?

JRube

i really appreciate the workable links—they’re a nice touch, and had i not seen mira grant employ this structure and this conceit in every newsflesh novel and story ever and be both funnier and scarier every single time, i probably would have appreciated this story more.

this is mira grant’s paddle pool and there’s only room for one!