Dot-to-Dot in Colour: Wildlife Paradise: 30 challenging designs to improve your mental agility by Shane Madden
My rating: 3/5 cats
WELCOME TO NOVEMBER PROJECT!!
november project is OVER!
oh, you want to tell me which dots to connect to make a picture AND tell me what color to make those lines AND tell me in what order i should connect those dots in those colors? sure, book. this month, i am entirely at your mercy. be gentle with me.
NOVEMBER 1:
oh, it is gonna be another month of THESE again?? not cool. you just wait until thanksgiving, birds… then we’ll see who’s laughing…
NOVEMBER 2:
if this book really wanted to keep its secrets, it probably wouldn’t have named each of these pictures. i knew going into this one that it wasn’t gonna be a cow.
NOVEMBER 3:
well, this one’s even more of a blabbermouth. to any of youse who clicked through the spoiler tag: were you surprised?? were you stunned???
NOVEMBER 4:
i don’t know why i’m even bothering with the spoiler tags at this point, since this book is so keen to tell me when it is just going to be BIRD AFTER BIRD AFTER BIRD. perhaps this is my way of protecting you, dear project-follower, from having to see BIRD AFTER BIRD AFTER BIRD. if they see you looking, they will come straight for your eyes. truefact and you’re welcome.
NOVEMBER 5:
i am so outraged at the CARAVAN OF BIRDS i can’t even enjoy giggling at the word “cock.” thanks for ruining cock for me, bird…
NOVEMBER 6:
a wing’ed beast that is not a bird! i am okay with this!! although “flutter butterfly” is linguistically upsetting.
NOVEMBER 7:
oops, i started doing this one before i remembered to photograph it! i hope i didn’t spoil it for you, because the “elegant giraffes” title is so very cryptic! and by “cryptic,” i mean “giraffes.” elegant ones.
NOVEMBER 8:
and here we go with the birrrrrddddssss again, even if they are goofy, gangly flightless birds, they are STILL BIRDS!
NOVEMBER 9:
and here is the very predator we need to cull this bird caravan! cull the herd! cull it, dammit!!
NOVEMBER 10:
okay, we’re trying it this way. is this magic-eye power-of-suggestion or real and true descriptor? you be the jury!
WHAT! DO! YOU! SEE?
View Spoiler »NOVEMBER 11:
dear book, please be nothing but raccoons from this point onward.
also, this is my favorite thing ever
NOVEMBER 12:
why are you so proud, bird? did you just murder an entire village and blame it on someone else? i got my eye on you, evil-eyed bird…
NOVEMBER 13:
and i got nothing to say about these things. all of these books seem to be filled with nothing but birds and dolphins, dolphins and birds. cannibals and rapists, so fun to color!
NOVEMBER 14:
why doesn’t this get a fun title? no descriptor? no adjective? just a straightforward, declarative fact? nonsense. where the book fails, i come through:
NOVEMBER 15:
THIS ONE IS FOR YOU, GREG!!
NOVEMBER 16:
backsliding into birds once more. and this one has a beak like some zombie-freddy-krueger-anatomical-model. whyzit got capillaries? all the better to stab you in the eyes with??
NOVEMBER 17:
this one’s title isn’t even accurately describing what is going on in the picture. unless this is the frog-version of Quantum Leap. PLEASE LET THERE BE A FROG-VERSION OF QUANTUM LEAP!!
NOVEMBER 18:
what does “chilled turtle” mean?? that sounds like a menu item, and it is really complicating my ability to enjoy this dot-to-dot. i have become emotionally attached to this turtle during our time together – i made him, i don’t want to think about nomming him! “chill” turtle would be better, like he’s just really cool and relaxed and nonchalant about being nommed. by me. oh no. i made it weird again…
NOVEMBER 19:
this doesn’t feel particularly vivid to me, but what do i know? i just do as i’m told, connecting the dots, coloring the colors, following the order. i am being bossed around by a BOOK!
NOVEMBER 20:
see?? a wing’ed creature who doesn’t need to be a jerk about it. ‘delicate’ here is a synonym for ‘well-mannered,’ as dragonflies were raised right, unlike every bird who ever.
NOVEMBER 21:
the jolliest of friends for this thanksgiving eve…
NOVEMBER 22:
merry thanksgiving, guy n smith style!
NOVEMBER 23:
i do not understand this title. am i, the person completing this dot-to-dot, the one who is facing off against this mandrill? or is this dot-to-dot a drawing of the face of a mandrill that has been removed (i.e. taken ‘off’) from the skull of a mandrill and is just sort of flopping around on someone’s nightstand or something? or is this one of those optical illusions and somewhere within the composition of this image there is a secondary image of two mandrills engaging in a face-off? and how have i typed so many words without giggling over the word man-drill? whatever the meaning, it is definitely time for more turkey/starch/napping.
NOVEMBER 24:
it’s an underwater neon new wave party!! dooot doot dooot dooooot doot doot doot!
NOVEMBER 25:
nothing says royal and dignified like munching on grass! the food of kings!
NOVEMBER 26:
the only thing that is good about this bird is that it is too tiny to do much permanent damage. (here is where someone pipes up to tell me i am wrong and points me towards footage of a million hummingbirds zestfully attacking a tourist somewhere and making me vow once more to never leave the house again.thanks a lot, someone)
NOVEMBER 27:
and THIS is the bird everyone here in nyfc has been freaking out about these days
http://gothamist.com/2018/11/26/manda…
but they are freaking out in an OMFG SO CUTE AND EXOTIC way instead of OMFG MY EEEYYYYYEEEESSSSS! which is exactly how they get you. i warned you, NYFC, i warned you…
NOVEMBER 28:
sorry for the delay. i have been DOING these on time, but some nights i was just too busy or sleepy or unable to get to the computer for the actual posting of the pictures. but that just means tonight you get a glut of animals. and now you are a zookeeper.
NOVEMBER 29:
bugs are better than birds. say it three times, quickly. make it your mantra and believe in its sentiment.
NOVEMBER 30:
end we end the month with a bojack! “majestic,” maybe, but that cute widdle pink nose undermines its gravitas.
AND THAT WAS NOVEMBER!
do i feel as though my mental agility has been improved by this book? not at all. but i DO feel like my ability to connect one dot to another dot has been improved a billion and ten percent, and i would like to know what kind of high-paying career i am newly qualified for with this in my skill set. present me with an offer, world of work!
