i have not read these, but i’ve been shelving books long enough that there’s an archive of particularly memorable books that have delighted me across the years nestled deep in my heart. here are some brief musings about romance covers, titles, and synopses that tickle me, or have caused me to speculate about their content for far longer than it would have taken me to just read the book.
The Italian's Pregnant Prisoner by Maisey Yates i have not read this book, and i do not wish to impugn it unfairly, but as a gut reaction to that title, we've really reached rock bottom in terms of "acceptable scenarios for romance novels." while i am sure that situations exist ...
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Do You Take This Baby? by Wendy Warren in which the age of consent is lowered dramatically in thunder ridge. read my reviews on goodreads ...
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although i have put this on my "romance covers i have loved" shelf, this would be a much better cover ...
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Whizz by Sam Crescent the hero of this romance novel is named whizz. whizz. what could be sexier than that? to any of you folks tempted to scold me and tell me that there’s nothing funny about pee and i am being soooooo juvenile, here you go: if you don’t ...
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Surrendering to the Vengeful Italian by Angela Bissell you know what surrendered to this italian?? the fourth freaking wall! why are you so vengeful towards that wall, italian? and pay more attention to your ladyfriend - she looks unwell! read my reviews on goodreads ...
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Woven Dreams by N.J. Walters if i didn't already have a shelf for "romance covers i have loved," i would have immediately created one just for this book. really, book??? REALLY?? you are killing me with this read my reviews on goodreads ...
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One of a Kind Dad by Daly Thompson oh, that cover! that savagely creepy smile, the word "fatherhood" suspended at nipple-height in serial killer font for no reason at all, and that "little boy, this is how you hold a bat...for MURRRDERRRR!!" gleam in his eye - it terrifies me ...
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The Cowboy's Secret Baby by Karen Rose Smith and now i know why there are so many feral cats in my neighborhood. it's okay - you fooled at least ONE person read my reviews on goodreads ...
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The Baby Trail by Karen Rose Smith when i first saw this book title, i had two thoughts. the first is obvious: is this anything like the oregon trail? because raising a kid is hard enough without all the additional setbacks and it all only ends one way there's no ...
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Pursued by the Rich Rancher by Catherine Mann another great romance cover! going by the title and cover alone, i am assuming that this book is just a retelling of where "rancher" replaces "fancypants eccentric bazillionaire" who woos pursues and sets the dogs on youse run, single mom nina lowery, ...
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Triple the Fun by Maureen Child in which a one-legged billionaire NAMBLA member has a very good vacation, indeed. read my reviews on goodreads ...
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Wild Heat by Lucy Monroe someone else please read this pw review and tell me if i am hallucinating, or drunk, or otherwise misunderstanding this plot: In the first of her Northern Fire series, Monroe (the Children of the Moon series) introduces Cailkirn, Alaska, the small town Kitty Grant’s ancestors ...
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No More Talking by Rhian Cahill "hey, is that a camera over there?? are you filming our sizzling attraction?" "shhhhh - no more talking - i'm trying to see your boobs." read my reviews on goodreads ...
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Sheikh Without a Heart by Sandra Marton medical marvel AND bold fashionista! read my reviews on goodreads ...
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A Breathless Bride by Fiona Brand harlequin's bold exploration of the love between the living and the dead, imagining a beautiful future full of acceptance and wedding albums across the land brimming with photographs of that walk down the aisle - one lover dragging their breathless soon-to-be-spouse behind them... read ...
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Island of Desire by Lorie O'Clare oh my god - this one wins best cover ever. ever. can you see it?? is it too small up on your screen?? hang on... what is he doooooing to her?? does this remind anyone of anything?? right?? right? oh, god. i love that ...
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Vampire Sheikh by Nina Bruhns vampire. sheikh. fucking finally, romance publishers... read my reviews on goodreads ...
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Twins Under His Tree by Karen Rose Smith and by "twins", he means "testicles," (which this cover has quite prettily labelled as "baby experts"), but so what is his tree?? read my reviews on goodreads ...
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That Runaway Summer by Darlene Gardner so many runaways, so little time... read my reviews on goodreads ...
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Marriage: To Claim His Twins by Penny Jordan and by "twins" he means "boobs." read my reviews on goodreads ...
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Instant Orgasm: Excitement at First Touch by Steve Bodansky this is not a romance cover i have loved, but i just want to share that some dude has been reading this in the aisle for like 40 minutes. just think how many orgasms he has had by now. he's probably ...
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Surrender To Fire by Lora Leigh how can her tits be this big and yet no nipple be visible?? discuss. read my reviews on goodreads ...
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Magnate's Mistress...Accidentally Pregnant! by Kimberly Lang raise your hand if you believe it was accidental... read my reviews on goodreads ...
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Bedded for Passion, Purchased for Pregnancy by Carol Marinelli truly one of the most romantic titles i have ever come across. nothing says true love like a sales receipt. and in the related category of "romance synopses i have loved:" When Zarios D'Amilo meets Emma Hayes again, she is no ...
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Thai Tranny Tales by Half-Lady Lisa this might be my favorite yet, although i'm not sure it is a "romance" cover i have loved. i've only read the back cover and blurbs, but it lists as YA in our system, which will surely please the teens. as far as covers ...
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Covert Cootchie-Cootchie-Coo by Ann Voss Peterson a new month's batch of series romance books have arrived!! i don't even need to "review" this one - it's enough to just look at the cover and shake my head despairingly. the expression on that baby's face pretty much telegraphs that it does ...
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His Best Friend's Baby by Mallory Kane another cowboy, another baby! his best friend's baby! he is taking his best friend's baby into the snowy black hills, where all the cartoon villains live! clearly, these cowboys should never babysit, even if they are former air force special ops weather/survival expert ...
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One Night, Two Babies by Kathie DeNosky and that's the story of my life... read my reviews on goodreads ...
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The Price of Temptation by M.J. Pearson the price of temptation appears to be elephantiasis of the testicles. read my reviews on goodreads ...
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Discreet Young Gentleman by M.J. Pearson which of these gentlemen is meant to be the discreet one?? dana - you've read it, you tell me. read my reviews on goodreads ...
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A Witch's Beauty by Joey W. Hill how does the love between an octopus-woman and a birdman begin? and where - the sea, the sky, this lonely rock? how is it consummated? it does not appear to involve eye contact, but is that knife a part of it? does that ...
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The Three-Way Miracle (Silhouette Special Edition No. 1733) by Karen Sandler this is a book i actually bought when i saw it at work because i was going through a phase of finding funny book covers and framing them for people as gifts. but i couldn't part with this one ...
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He Calls Her Doc by Mary Brady this one has a perfectly acceptable cover, but the title is troubling. it may just be the font, but 4 out of 4 people when questioned misread it, so it gets to be included. roof! read my reviews on goodreads ...
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A Little Secret Between Friends by C.J. Carmichael this one makes the all-time list. a truly stunning visual narrative - i only wish the picture on here were bigger so everyone could enjoy it. is this better?? i bought several copies of this book to cover-frame as gifts, but i ...
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North Country Man by Carrie Alexander every time there is a mixed-species couple on the front of one of these things, i realize how nuanced the romance novel audience is, and now narrow-minded i myself am. because why can't a man love a baby bear cub the way he loves ...
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