Russian Optimism: Dark Nursery Rhymes to Cheer You Right Up by Ben Rosenfeld
My rating: 3/5 cats
this book is a collection of very short russian nursery rhymes, illustrated and presented in the original cyrillic followed by the english transliteration so you can appreciate the intended rhyme scheme, and also in english so you can, you know, actually understand it if you are not this specific shade of polyglot. the english translations sacrifice the rhyme scheme in favor of the content of these delightful nuggets, which i think is always the best way to go, and if you want to read an awesome book about what a slippery bitch translation is, you should check out Le Ton beau de Marot: In Praise of the Music of Language.
there is a lot more emphasis on cannibalism here than i had anticipated, and a willingness to go grimmer than grimm. the only reason i didn’t give this a higher rating is because for the most part, the artwork wasn’t to my personal taste, although i have included a couple of my favorite illustrations. i also wish it had been much much longer than thirty rhymes and had included some historical context and researchy bits because the written content was a jaw-droppingly revealing journey into a culture that has made bleak into an art form.
from the introduction:
Generally speaking, Americans expect each generation to accomplish more than the previous one. Russians expect each generation to suffer and be miserable. In reality, we all suffer the same, but Americans view suffering as a temporary setback whereas Russians see it as inevitable.
with that in mind, enjoy a few of these completely horrific nursery rhymes
The Bright Side
In my childhood, my mom gouged out my eyes,
So that I wouldn’t find the jam.
Now I don’t watch movies and I don’t read fairy tales,
But on the bright side, I smell and hear really well.
Don’t Ask Stupid Questions
I asked Peter the electrician,
“Why is there copper wire around your neck?”
He didn’t respond,
His boots just swayed quietly.
The Old Lawnmower
An old man was cutting the lawn,
His blade caught a pair of lovers.
The red blood covered the grass,
Don’t fuck in the morning.
The Houseguests
A little girl asked her mom for a candy.
Her mom said, “Put your fingers in the electrical socket!”
Her dress burnt up, her bones charred,
For a long time, the houseguests laughed at this prank.
Cherries
The kids stole some cherries from a yard.
Grandma Vera was very happy:
Thankfully she’d coated the trees with poison,
The village will have a lot of memorial services.
A Cyprus Vacation
In the sky, a big plane flies,
It’s bringing a bunch of people to Cyprus.
In one suitcase, something is ticking,
It’s unlikely the plane will be found in the ocean.
Father and Son
A dad brought his son hunting.
He loaded his rifle with hollow point bullets.
He shot at the wolf, but hit his son.
“What a tragedy, I wasted a bullet!”
Windy Day
A little boy inflated a large balloon,
A gust of strong wind blew,
A man watched the boy disappear but didn’t rush over,
No one has seen the boy since.
The Woods
A little boy found a machine gun
Nothing lives in the woods anymore.
The Snorer
A daughter really loved her dad,
She turned on the gas stove.
Dad slept in the adjacent room,
He used to snore, now he stopped.
This Last One Makes No Sense
A little boy quietly played in the kitchen.
A bulldozer came up from behind.
“A bulldozer in the kitchen? Haha! That’s bullshit!”
You’re laughing? Okay, laugh. But the boy is dead.
enjoy your day, kids!
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