X-Men: The Dark Phoenix Saga by Chris Claremont
My rating: 3/5 cats
i have decided that “the x-men” is actually short for “the exposition men.” i mean, i know this is a collection of several comic books strung together to make one big fat story, and in order to refresh readers’ minds as to what happened a month ago or whatever, it is sometimes necessary to throw in little callbacks to previous escapades, but boy does it end up reading awkwardly: “this is my name. this is your name. remember when we did that?? now we are doing this. why?? in order to facilitate this thing that we need to do…” and on and on and on…
i expected a little more from the man who co-authored (with george lucas) the continuing adventures of willow ufgood.
i don’t read a lot of superhero comics. i have read a bunch of batman because he is pretty awesome, but this is my first x-men. having fallen asleep in each of the x-men movies, this is what i know: wolverine is cranky and has awesome claws, i ♥ alan cumming, and the green chick is painted and you can see her boobs.
that is neither here nor there, i am just showing off my extensive knowledge of the x-men. so this is my question: are all superhero books really about how shitty it is to be a superhero?? because batman never gets to have any fun, and everyone in here is miserable: “i’m phoenix, i am alive, now i am dead, now i am alive again, now i am in the cosmos, now i am back in time, now i am confused, now i am evil, now maybe i will die again, who knows…”
that’s just awful. if these books are supposed to be about idealized “men” and “women” (superheroes in general, not specifically the x-men, who are special cases because they are largely ostracized), and serve an escapist role, why are they so unhappy??
and what the fuck is with the dazzler?? i love that she had a spin-off comic that got canceled because everyone hated it (i am pretending that this is something i know, but i only know it because greg told me)
because really, how could this get old??
“it was a different time, karen”
i am so glad i was not (really) alive in a time when that character was thought to be a good idea. disco-ball superpowers?? unacceptable.
ummm, and i guess that is my book review.
bow, pause for ovation…
