review

A BOOK OF TONGUES – GEMMA FILES

A Book of Tongues (Hexslinger, #1)A Book of Tongues by Gemma Files
My rating: 2/5 cats
One StarOne Star

the world is my oyster and this book is my olive.

i do not like olives.

but everyone else likes olives. and i have tried time and again to understand olives. i have eaten them in different contexts, and have willed myself to like them, but to no avail. they are just not for me. and it’s weird because i like capers and pickles and marinated artichokes etc. but not olives.

this book has very high ratings here on the goodreads.com, so i know that it is simply me and my shortcomings preventing me from liking this book. and i have liked every other czp book i have read, so i am confident that this is something i have to work on.

because it sounds great: like deadwood with more magic and gay sex. who am i to turn that down?? but jeez, was i confused. and i should have known i was in trouble from the first page:

Today is ruled by Centeotl, the Lord of Maize, a version of Xipe Totec, Our Lord the Flayed One. Also known as Xilonen, “the Hairy One,” he holds the position of fourth Lord of the Night.

blah blah blah then it goes on about aztec blahblah and mayan blahblah but i am already half asleep. words that begin with “x” kill me. this is a fact about me. add it to the list, whichever one of you is taking notes for my unauthorized biography.

but then it goes back and forth through time and there is magic and demonic possession and lots of shooting and betrayal (those parts i liked a lot) but i got totally tangled up in the mythology, and my brain stalled. it is an old brain – it needs to be tuned frequently.

books where the protagonist has magical abilities frustrate me. magic should remove all conflict. the protagonist should just be able to do whatever they want, with the magic, thus eliminating any conflict, obstacles, and plot. if you have all these powers, why not just A, or B?? but nooo, there is always a snag.

“but here is this other magic. and hell. and a guy with a mirror-foot.”

“a mirror foot?”

“yeah, kind of…”

“pass the olives, please”

i don’t know. the second part to this series has just come out, and i had it in my pile of books i was planning to buy yesterday, but instead i guiltily slipped it back on the shelf. i may still buy it in the future (and i know i will, because i have terrible completist tendencies) but i might hold off for an entire month before those tendencies overwhelm me.

internet, continue to like this book. i will be curled up in the corner cursing tapenade.

but while we are here – enjoy a gay cowboy song!!

read my reviews on goodreads

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