That Should Be a Word: A Language Lover’s Guide to Choregasms, Povertunity, Brattling, and 250 Other Much-Needed Terms for the Modern World by Lizzie Skurnick
My rating: 4/5 cats
this is a book filled with words that should exist, but do not. yet. for example, Bitrayal which is a perfect word for the Emotion occasioned by biting into a foodstuff you thought was another flavor. this is a word we are not likely to need often, but when we need it, we NEED it.
in order to help reboot the english language and ensure that it doesn’t become a dead language anytime soon, i am going to begin peppering my speech with words learned from this book. like so:
not to be Lostentatious, but after my recent Cubicull, i have been filling my days with Shoverdosing on friday night lights and trying not to fall into Pagita as i look at my stacks of BEA books and other book-promises i have made because i am a Canvict, and trying not to stress out over all my Chorespondence and the Flagony to which i am so susceptible. i’m trying to take this time to just chill out and get my head in order before i figure out what to do in terms of rejoining the working world.
because it’s dispiriting, right? it’s hard not to feel a little Slumbrage. i loved my job, and i was very good at it. i’m a very Choreful person; a hard worker who has never fallen prey to the Faultitask, cheerfully carrying out all Obligrations, and even willing to Plabor because go team. so it’s hard to accept that i got laid off when i know how often i worked myself into Exhaustence with insomniac Chorement, and how frequently i would Storbear my Dronely feelings when i saw other people yukking it up in the workplace. i keep reminding myself that it’s not like i did anything wrong, just luck of the draw or whatever, and it’s not like i have anything to feel bad about – this is no Gafftermath. and yet, i’m filled with Poutrage when i think “why me?” but then it kind of mellows into Doubtrage because – maybe this is an opportunity, as they say. maybe there is something better out there for me, even though i thought this was my dream job – maybe it was a Relashionship in disguise.
i’m trying not to become a Saddict and fall into the Recritivism trap, but not having a job has made me more susceptible to Slowth. i am having more Slocab moments, and sitting around Chowsing all day has made me a little chubby. which is fine, since it’s okay to Faternize when grieving; i feel complete Flabsolution and i’ve never been a Bitemizing kinda girl – no Deniets here!! besides – there are still some fans of my weekly AIFAFs out there – i can’t let them down! i just need to be a little cash-careful and not try to be a Niblesse. but the AIFAFs must continue! where would internet be without all my Supdates; all the photos of greg being Fidgital, all the Gleevil things i do to his food while he’s in the bathroom, all the Pestioning by me when i get Implatient, the Imparious way i forge into new environments?? greg would miss me and how i am always Chronstant (except for those times when i am Stardy), and how l always Tabdicate, and will never be one of those Reliabails. and that is why HE will never be my Palbatross! but yeah, so – job.
it’s weird being in this floaty period. to not know what’s going to happen on the horizon. and i don’t want to Canticipate or be Deprescient, but the whole process of looking for work is a drag. i hate writing resumes. i’m not someone who enjoys Dronanism, and the whole “selling oneself” to prospective employers feels awkward and Pomplicated. interviews are so stiff and fake-seeming; it’s all Autoprylot questions on one side and Blitzcreed on the other, and Wordure desperately filling in the gaps. there should just be a blood test for “good work ethics/habits” so i don’t have to go through that first date rigamarole or ever be Snoopervised once i do get the job. and i will. because i am good at things. i am Crambitious!! i’ll even take a Povertunity at this point.
but i won’t lie – it IS nice to not have to experience that Dready feeling every day over the summer-subway commute. i get to avoid the odors, the Germament, the Invertebrats, the overhearing of the details of strangers Boudwars turning me into a Dumpire, the fun game of “what’s the Stinkubus?” the heat is kind of paralyzing to me in general, and i hate the street/subway/street/office Sweather, so i feel a small sense of relief that i’m not forced to head into it every day, sweating onto fellow-commuters while fantasizing about Frostage. and i’m avoiding all the other annoyances of the urban jungle – the Sloglers, the Stewage, the Clogins. in a way, i kind of Loave my current situation – it’s a much-deserved break, but is hard for me. i’ve never been good at Pleisure. Plassitude does not come easy to me, and Oughty would make me feel naughty – my sense of industry rears up.
but i don’t want to Mopine. for now, i’m just going to distract myself, mask myself in Morosy, work on my Perseveerance, ignore the Bangst. maybe find some Comreads, use this free time to tackle some Stressipes (and not share with any Chewsy Feditors who perform Ingestigations on everything they are served – looking at YOU, connor!), and to just think about my options and who might want to give me the perfect Mespoke job.
so to all of you Theratroopers who have emailed me with your Chumbrage, i appreciate it. and i know i’m going to be okay – there will be no Pleasurrection; i’m just resting. and i apologize for being so Wordant – i’m actually experiencing a little Commentwary Sharanoia right now, but i think we all learned something here about vocabulary and about how someone should hire me because i am adorable.
GLOSSARY
Lostentatious – Overly public about one’s downfall.
Cubicull – Laying off of staff.
Shoverdose – To binge-watch a TV series.
Pagita – The stress of the unread.
Canvict – One imprisoned by inability to say no.
Chorespondence – Mail you don’t want to deal with.
Flagony – Guilt over unanswered important emails.
Slumbrage – slow-to-grow anger.
Choreful – Way too happy to work. (as in “David found his choreful sister bizarre, though he was happy to let her sweep up and load the dishwasher after dinner.” not “i am too happy to do any work today!”)
Faultitask – Mess up by trying to do too many things at once.
Obligration – Annoying task.
Plabor – Working while on vacation.
Exhaustence – The state of always being tired.
Chorement – Being haunted by to-dos.
Storbear – To sustain aggrievement.
Dronely – Having to finish something entirely by yourself.
Gafftermath – Fallout from a scandal.
Poutrage – Anger by way of whining.
Doubtrage – Uncertainty about whether one should be mad.
Relashionship – Bad romance you can’t leave.
Saddict – One who thrives on misery.
Recritivism – Torturous preoccupation with long-ago mistakes.
Slowth – Ever-increasing lassitude.
Slocab – The words you can’t think of.
Chowse – Absentmindedly eat the food in one’s vicinity.
Faternize – Hang out with other unhealthy eaters.
Flabsolution – Self-forgiveness for weight gain.
Bitemize – Count calories.
Deniet – Lie about cheating on regimen.
Niblesse – Those who eat only exorbitantly priced foods.
Supdate – Food-related posting.
Fidgital – Excessively checking one’s devices.
Gleevil – Happily disobedient.
Pestion – To ask something over and over.
Implatient – Edgy for food to get on the table.
Imparious – Confidently leading in the wrong direction.
Chronstant – Always on time.
Stardy – Setting off late.
Tabdicate – Let someone else figure out the check.
Reliabail – Always canceling.
Palbatross – A friend you’d like to drop.
Canticipate – To visualize negative events or consequences.
Deprescient – Imagining the worst will happen.
Dronanism – Love of hearing oneself talk.
Pomplicate – To create unnecessary confusion with formality.
Autoprylot – Perfunctory questioning.
Blitzcreed – Trumpeting one’s beliefs.
Wordure – Statements full of shit.
Snoopervise – Secretly monitor employees.
Crambitious – Taking on an excessive workload to advance in one’s career.
Povertunity – A job with more status than salary.
Dready – Always prepared for disaster.
Germament – The o’erhanging galaxy of contagions.
Invertebrat – Annoying offspring of clueless parents.
Boudwar – An argument originating in the bedroom.
Dumpire – Person who has to hear both sides of a fight.
Stinkubus – Source of a mysterious stench.
Sweather – Days that swing back and forth between hot and cold.
Frostage – Imprisoned by cold.
Slogle – Reduce one’s speed in order to catcall.
Stewage – Garbage left out in heat.
Clogin – Person who blocks the way while checking device.
Loave – To love and hate in equal proportions.
Pleisure – Joy of doing nothing.
Plassitude – Laziness without guilt.
Oughty – Guilty but lazy anyhow.
Mopine – Muse on source of discontent.
Morosy – Concealing sadness with cheer.
Perseveerance – Procrastination via performing other tasks.
Bangst – Stress over diminishing funds.
Comreads – People who read a book at the same time.
Stressipe – A dish that’s more trouble to cook than it’s worth.
Chewsy – Likes or dislikes certain foods for texture alone.
Feditor – Someone who removes offending items from her meal.
Ingestigation – Close examination of repast; to examine thus.
Mespoke – Tailored to one’s lifestyle.
Theratrooper – Friend who swoops in to commiserate.
Chumbrage – Irritation on a friend’s behalf.
Pleasurrection – Gladness that one you thought was dead is alive.
Wordant – Spilling over with words.
Commentwary – Worried about posting in case a million people respond.
Sharanoia – Fear of what people are thinking of your posts.
