Unjunk Your Junk Food: Healthy Alternatives to Conventional Snacks by Andrea Donsky, Randy Boyer
My rating: 2/5 cats
so, just up front, my two-star cat rating is probably completely unfair. if you are looking for a way to reduce the amount of preservatives you consume, kudos for you, and this is probably a truly helpful book. it lays out all the crap that is in snack foods and beverages, and offers up tasty organic substitutes. yum, right? goobers = bad, sunridge farms all natural chocolate toffee peanuts = good. fig newtons = bad, barbara’s whole wheat fig bars = good.
but for me – i am under the impression that the artificial sweeteners in my food are going to slowly embalm me so i become immortal. and anybody who tells me that pop-tarts belong in the “hall of shame,” well, i take that as a personal attack. pop-tarts have made me what i am, and while people may argue that that is all the more reason to be put in the “hall of shame,” i think i am a mighty fine specimen, strong like hulk, stinging like bee.
and anyone who claims that something called “jolly beans” are better than the delicious array of flavors and wonderfully crackling “skin” of a jelly belly is clearly insane.
so – this is probably a fantastic book for all of you people with your bicycling everywhere and your bodies like temples, but for me, who has only eaten pancakes drenched in syrup, french fries drenched in mayonnaise, and ice cream today, well – you see how i roll.
why did i take this book from the free shelves at work, you ask? i thought it would be useful, you know, to try to teach an old dog new tricks. but it turns out i am one stubborn old dog. and you can pry my nutter butters from my cold, dead, good-looking corpse’s hand.