Bite Me, I’m Coloring: De-stress with 50 Hilariously Fun Swear Word Coloring Pages by Dare You Stamp Co.
My rating: 4/5 cats
i had a VERY EXCITING PLAN for april’s review project, but it’s been delayed, so now i gotta scramble to produce a week’s worth of posts in a day. i found this naughty little book in my potential project-stack, and what better way to reflect the nowtimes than with a whole bunch of colorful cussin’? true, i’ve already completed Cocktastic!, The Swear Word Coloring Book, and Another F*cking Coloring Book, but there’s always room for more off-color coloring, right? i’ll be back here as soon as i can with some PG-13 content!
APRIL 1
starting out mild as milk with a g-rated snake saying what we’re all thinking.
APRIL 2
cry, mean ocean, CRY!
this has got to be the worst supermarket ever. first of all, those poisonous olives front and center, but what’s with the tentacles hanging out in the produce section? room-temperature octopus-limbs? no sale.
APRIL 3
covid-era diet, a still life (2020-2021, artist unknown)
APRIL 4
whoop dee fucking donut, amiright?
APRIL 5
cupcake vertigo: the compulsion to face-plant into a valley of frosting.
APRIL 6
the brunch party soured when the hostess ran out of fucks.
APRIL 7
is it just me, or is this coloring book awfully fixated on confectionaries?
APRIL 8
hahaahah this is my favorite art. ever. BUILD ME A MUSEUM WHERE EVERY PIECE IS OF A CRAB YELLING AT A FISH OR A REASONABLE EQUIVALENT.
APRIL 9
oof, sorry for such a messy bessy post tonight. but at least we’re back on the sweet treats! i will make a better coloring post tomorrow, i promise!
APRIL 10
fuck, NO! NO MORE BIRDS PLEASE! WE HAVE ENOUGH!
APRIL 11
everything was FINE until the olives got involved. then it became a real trainwreck. NO ONE INVITED YOU, OLIVES!
APRIL 12
sometimes i find myself struggling to make a connection between the words and the pictures. this is one of those times.
APRIL 13
“don’t mind if i do,” said the adult woman who received three different candy-forward easter baskets this year. #neverhadacavity
APRIL 14
guess who’s halfway vaccinated? this girl here, who knows EXACTLY how the words and the images match up in this one!
APRIL 15
i respectfully disagree with this caption. this is not an epic fail at all. an epic fail would be trying to bite off more than you, a pelican, can chew. case(s) in point:
and, take two:
APRIL 16
invited to a vegetable party and nothing to wear? NO PROB!
APRIL 17
says the person who put OLIVES in my SALAD, so NO i will not calm down.
APRIL 18
this must be a typo. they mean ‘terrifying as fuck,” right?
who could be bored surrounded by so much creepiness? creeps, i guess.
APRIL 19
welcome to my breakfast for dinner party: come harden yer arteries with me.
APRIL 20
if ever there were a missed opportunity to caption an image “deez nuts,” this is it.
APRIL 21
feel free to take a moment to tell me how impressed you are that i managed to color around all those maddening grains of rice.
APRIL 22
i like to think of this as being an illustration from a lost chapter of Charlotte’s Web. happy earth day, hippies!
APRIL 23
dinner at the home of a juggler can be challenging
APRIL 24
this summarizes…everything.
APRIL 25
glad to see a return to the pastry motif -bring on the carbs!
APRIL 26
piñata at my house, bitches!
APRIL 27
this is me entering my blue period
although a lot of this book has been working blue, as they say…
APRIL 28
that little fish is all of us
APRIL 29
for some of these, i’ve had to make educated guesses about what some of the shapes are meant to represent, and i fear that my assumptions have made for some bizarre food-groupings. that nubbly rod? corn or grapes? i went with grapes, but what a weird meal! the things that look like fly girl earrings? is it calamari? were they fried eggs? i decided they were pineapple rings. i also opted for steak and bacon, but it all coulda been anything. this might be a depiction of a compost heap or the inside of a garbage disposal or the tummy of a raccoon or the sidewalk outside the local irish pub on a friday night.
APRIL 30
i don’t know what’s going on here—what is bone, what is negative space? i don’t have any answers for you, but this is a good place to tie this review project off. i give up on april.
read my book reviews on goodreads
