review

DON’T KILL THE BIRTHDAY GIRL: TALES FROM AN ALLERGIC LIFE – SANDRA BEASLEY

Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic LifeDon’t Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life by Sandra Beasley
My rating: 4/5 cats
One StarOne StarOne StarOne Star

this memoir is written by a woman with so many food allergies, it makes my head spin: all dairy, eggs, soy, beef, shrimp, pine nuts, cucumbers, cantaloupe, honeydew, mango, macadamia nuts, pistachios, cashews, swordfish, mustard… and not just eating them – sitting at a table where cheese once touched, eating from “contaminated” plates, secret ingredients in spice blends or poorly-labeled drinks… it is horrible! i don’t know anyone with severe food allergies, but it sounds just awful, especially when it is not just one or two, but a million different threats.

being allergic to cucumber makes no sense to me. i’m not knocking anyone’s allergies here, i am just trying to wrap my head around an allergy to something that is essentially a green water-log. it seems so innocent! it saddens me, because i love food so much – almost all of it, and i would hate it if my body told me “no.”

i usually try, if i am eating alone with a vegetarian, to either order meatless, or at least try not to order anything gratuitously meaty, like cowface, but after reading this book, i am hesitant to eat any food near any person, not as a courtesy, but because it is possible that my food could kill someone else. i could breathe near someone and cause them to seize. i could make out with someone after eating some delicious cheese and kill them.

they would die happy.

but let’s see – what did i eat yesterday?

a rainbow-sherbet-flavored jello yogurt cup.

peanut-butter toast

barry’s tea with milk

artichoke and pepperoni pizza

and she couldn’t have eaten any of it. or made out with me. in fact, if i had eaten what i did and then used the phone, and if she had used the same phone hours later, i could have caused her to have a severe allergic reaction.

how can i continue to eat in these circumstances? who could? i feel for her, i really do.

because she sounds so rad – she isn’t whiny about her condition – she isn’t one of these people who wants to ban peanuts from restaurants or schools or the planet – she is uncomfortable with some measures she sees as overreactions. she seems like a cool lady, who takes care of her ownself, and is living with her allergies, not using them for attention.

i hate that she has had so many severe reactions at so many pivotal moments in her life: the weddings of friends, vacations, dinner parties, i hate how many times food has tried to kill her.

but i love that she keeps trying – cooking classes, children’s birthday parties, travel. she is willing to give food one more try, despite being told as a child that she was “not designed to survive,” despite all of the dangers and past failures: halloween, college, airplanes, grammar school cupcakes…

i will never be able to take her on an AIFAF, but i applaud her, from afar, in a bubble where i am eating fondue. eat those french fries and mushrooms, my dear, show the food who’s boss…

read my reviews on goodreads

previous
next
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Amazon Disclaimer

Bloggycomelately.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon properties including but not limited to, amazon.com, or endless.com, MYHABIT.com, SmallParts.com, or AmazonWireless.com.

Donate

this feels gauche, but when i announced i was starting a blog, everyone assured me this is a thing that is done. i’m not on facebook, i’ve never had a cellphone or listened to a podcast; so many common experiences of modern life are foreign to me, but i’m certainly struggling financially, so if this is how the world works now, i’d be foolish to pass it up. any support will be received with equal parts gratitude and bewilderment.

To Top