I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max
My rating: 3/5 cats
this book is like anthropology for me – i have spent my life avoiding men like this and the women who are their prey just ’cause they annoy me. but i was still curious about why everyone was reading this. so reading this book was my shark week – i could watch the feeding frenzies, while avoiding that water at all costs. i think it was fortuitous that i started reading it the day i went to the leonard cohen concert – it made for some pretty magical comparisons. leonard cohen is a man who has been with some ladies, agreed? and so is tucker max. so here are two quotes – try to match the quote with its author:
“remember when I moved in you the holy dove was moving too and every breath we drew was hallelujah.”
“I know the hot one is going to fuck me so I want to hurry up and eat so I can get this pony in its stable.”
two different takes on the act of intercourse… leonard cohen is in his seventies and i’d still fuck him first, just for his classiness. and i’m not offended by tucker max, it’s not some latent feminist rising within me. i recognize that for every one of his “conquests” there is a corresponding stupid stupid drunk girl who is experiencing the joys of social darwinism. my problem is with the actual writing. his anal sex accidents do not make me blush. what makes me blush is the number of times he says “i am so funny” or “my friends say i am hilarious,” or even the more generous “my friends are so hilarious.” truly the funniest part in this book is in the acknowledgments where he thanks someone for “turn(ing) good writing into great writing.” because it’s baaaad. he just isn’t funny. he comes across as someone who needs to be the center of attention so much, and is such a bad drunk, that he equates saying the loudest, rudest thing with the funniest. and i have been that drunk before, and i know how funny it seems at the time, but surely one has better comedic judgment when sober and reviewing the notes…greg says people like tucker max who find david sedaris “too cerebral.” i’m beginning to understand…it gets three stars cats because it amused me enough that i never wanted to throw it. but it isn’t great…
