50 Ways to Lose Your Glasses50 Ways to Lose Your Glasses by Warby Parker
My rating: 4/5 cats
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i will probably never lose my glasses, because i have this little guy with a big nose

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who holds onto them for me when they are not on my face.

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but there are many ways to lose your glasses, (at least 50!), and some of them are unavoidable because there are always gonna be sharks trying to ruin your day.

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so, having read this entire book, i have selected a few threats to PSA out at you – the ones i feel are the most likely to affect you in your day-to-day glasses-wearing life. i haven’t personally experienced any of these yet, but it’s only a matter of time, and if i were more courageous about jamming foreign objects into my eyes, i might be more amenable to going the contact lens route. for now i will just make sure to avoid goats. which is good advice even if you don’t wear glasses.

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here are a few more threats you should be aware of, if you are a glasses-wearing nerd like me. educate yourself.


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time travel

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garbage disposal

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centrifugal force

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mega sneeze

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seismic activity

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spontaneous combustion

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swamp monster

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now that we have that covered, feel free to offer suggestions for avoiding these situations and i shall compile them in a pamphlet and distribute it on the subway. we gotta stick together.

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